Mommas Boys
by A.D. Williams
Summary: In a sudden custody trial, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha's mothers receive them for the summer. How do they handle the sudden change? And what of their father? Comedy, drama, I hope I touch a few hearts!
1. Starving for Control

So, after such a long break, here's my first long story! Okay, let's cut to the chase. First off I want to mention as I always do that my characters are out of character. I say _my _because though I do not own them, they're nothing like the real ones! I'll still put a disclaimer, just give me a moment. I also want to say that this story mentions homosexuality...if that's going to be a problem, you might want to stop right here (and no, there's no mature audience scenes here...I don't think I have what it takes to write something like that!). And lastly, I want those who do decide to read this to enjoy the story! As usual, read it, like it, love it!

Disclaimer (See, told you I'd put one!): I do not own none of the characters no matter how out of character they are. I know most of us wish we could own one, for me it'd of course be Sesshomaru...with him chained in my basement with his shirt off...but—oh, y'all didn't read that!

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**Starving for Control**

(which I'll admit that I got from a _Chicken Soup for the Soul _story.

Sorry ma'am, but it made good for a chapter title!)

Sesshomaru sat in his room, trying to write a haiku that accurately described his feelings for Inuyasha. This was what he came up with:

Hate flowing through me

Itching to rip out your heart

If Dad would let me...

He sighed at the last line. Yes, their father had been rather protective of them as of late. He didn't quite understand it, but chalked it up to pre-empty nest syndrome, where a parent experiences extreme loneliness without their children. In their father's case, he was trying to hold on to them before they left the "nest" so to speak, since Sesshomaru should've _been _left home, Inuyasha not far behind him. But then again, why leave? He's the next heir, he'd just have to come back once his father kicked the bucket.

He gave another sigh and put down his calligraphy brush which he'd used to write with. His stomach gave a sudden grumble and he looked down at it with alarm. _Please just be gas, _he thought. Currently, they were in the middle of a demon holiday (?!) which required fasting...something akin to Easter, perhaps. Sesshomaru hadn't eaten for a month and since demons can last longer than humans without food, he was expected to go _three months _without food of any kind! He could have one cup (one measuring cup) of water in the mornings and nights, but that was it. His stomach gave another growl. He grabbed his sides and moaned quietly. _Fuck a sun god, or whatever the hell we're supposed to be worshiping. I'm hungry. _

He left his room and crept down the stairs. His father thought he was studying ancient runes at the moment, as if! He took a back entrance to the kitchen and silently pushed the swinging door open, making sure not to make a sound of any kind lest his father's sensitive ears pick it up. What he saw inside shocked him beyond measure. The normally dignified Inutaisho was hunched over, shoving a freshly done layered biscuit in his mouth, juices running down his chin and an expression of pure pleasure on his face. Sesshomaru let out a gasp and his father turned around with wide, almost frightened eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. He quickly turned back around, grabbed the rest of the biscuits off the tray, and mumbled through his food, "You didn't see shit!" then hustled out of there quickly, stuffing more food in his mouth and clutching the biscuits to his chest like a starving child.

_Say it, don't spray _it, Sesshomaru thought, wiping flecks of biscuit off his face. Well, that settled his guilt; if his father could cheat, so could he. He reached in the fridge for a can of biscuits when Inuyasha walked in. "Ha! Caught ya!" He said triumphantly. Since he was younger than him, and not a full demon, Inuyasha wasn't expected to participate in the holiday. In his hand he held a very large turkey leg and in the other, a goblet (yeah, goblet!) of sake. He wiped his greasy mouth on his haori. "Well, well, well! This is better than when I caught you masturbating and blackmailed you into giving me your allowance for a year to not tell Dad! Now whatever shall I do?" He gave his brother a look of mock sympathy. Sesshomaru's face reddened slightly, a cross between embarrassment and anger.

"I'll tell you what you'll do," Sesshomaru said, taking a threatening step toward him. "You'll keep your damn mouth shut. Remember, snitches get stitches." Inuyasha stopped grinning and blinked. "Hold up a moment. Isn't that prison talk?" Sesshomaru just gave him a dark look and continued placing the biscuits on the tray his father had used. Inuyasha grabbed his brother's shoulder and turned him toward him. "Dude, did you just _threaten _me?!" he asked incredulously.

"Snitches get snitches," Sesshomaru said again, putting the tray in the oven. He sat at the kitchen table to wait for them to be done. Inuyasha sat across from him. "I don't care what you say, I'm still not frightened." But he kept tapping a clawed finger on the tabletop. "Good, I don't want you to be frightened, I just want you to know the consequences of your actions." Inuyasha got up from the table slowly. "You're mad, man! You're frickin' mad!" And he left the room in a state equivalent to his father. It was another thirty minutes before Sesshomaru's food was done. He was so hungry, he didn't even take the tray out of the oven, simply reached in there with his bare hands. "Ooh, hot, hot!" He whispered loudly, but shoved a biscuit in his mouth anyways. _Oh my sun god,_ was all he could think, eyes rolling up in ecstasy. He put the rest on a plate and walked out of the room.

In the main hallway was a phone on a small table. His father was on it at the moment, shouting something to the person on the other line. Sesshomaru listened in. "No! Leave them alone! What more do you want? Money? Sex? Money and sex?! What? Oh, whatever, don't hate! Look, all this was finalized in court. A retrial, when? They granted you _partial_ custody? Saturday? You know what, fine! Have them!" He slammed down the receiver and looked up to where Sesshomaru was munching quietly on his biscuit. "Well, looks like you'll finally get to meet your mother. She's been granted partial custody of you . You go to meet her Saturday."

Sesshomaru finished chewing and swallowed. "Don't I get any say in the matter? I'm grown." His father sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, but you're only grown in demon standards. In human ones, going by looks, you're still a minor." Sesshomaru breathed in too hard and chocked on the biscuit. Inuyasha came into the hall and smirked at him. "Serves you right. What goes around comes around." Then he noticed the pale look on Inutaisho's face. What's all the hullabaloo about?" Then his eyes also took in the plate of biscuits next to him. Inuyasha's head whipped back toward Sesshomaru. "That's right bitch, Dad did it first," Sesshomaru said through asphyxiating lungs. "Two wrongs don't make a right," Inuyasha preached. "Rules were made to be broken," Sesshomaru said, giving a loud hack and spitting up the food into his hand. He sniffed it for a moment, then like a dog eating its own vomit, he licked it back up. Inutaisho didn't seem to care, but Inuyasha looked like he was about to be sick. "I don't even have words for how gross that was," he said with a horrified expression.

"Well, you won't have to put up with your brother's questionable habits for long," Inutaisho said. "Your mother now has partial custody of you too, so you'll be spending summers with her from now on. Oh yeah, there's just one more thing I forgot. Your moms are together now." Inuyasha screamed "What?!" at the top of his lungs as at the same time, Sesshomaru dropped his plate. He glanced up to see if anyone had noticed and when he was sure they hadn't, he dropped to his hands and knees and started shoving them in his mouth, putting a few in his kimono sleeves to save for later. "So you're telling me that my mom and _his mom _are like, you know..." Inuyasha took his two index fingers and put them point to point. Inutaisho nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, how hot. Why couldn't I get in on the action?" he muttered to himself. Inuyasha shoved him and gave him a mortified look.

Sesshomaru stood back up and started licking his fingers. "So, is that why she left you in the first place? My mom?" Inutaisho nodded. "Yeah, the arranged marriage thing didn't quite work out. She gave me an heir, which was all I'd asked for, then went about her merry--" "Lesbian," Inuyasha interjected. "--Way," Inutaisho finished. Inuyasha hung his head in shock and shook it side to side. "I'm going up to my room to do some Mandarian Bush meditation and when I come back down, I want this family to be normal. And for you guys to stop eating!" He added, looking at the bread rolls in his brother's and father's hands. With a huff, he stormed off. "Well, that went well," Inutaisho said sarcastically. Sesshomaru only nodded, his mind elsewhere. He looked down at the biscuit he was holding and noticed a large ball of lint, hair, and dirt on it. _God made dirt and dirt don't hurt, _he thought, before taking a bite. In a world of his own, he walked by his father back up to his own room. He had a lot to think about over the next few days.

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I have to say, this was even a surprise for me! Since I don't plan out my stories, I just write with the flow (often making myself go off track from the original point!), I shock myself with some of the things I write! It was last minute that I decided on the Izayoi and Sesshomaru's mother pairing...very unusual for me...hell, I think I just scared my own self! Oh, and as for Sesshomaru being a minor in this story...well, I had to have some way for him not to be able to resist meeting the rest of the fam! But never mind this. Review, tell me what you thought...I can already sense a few flames from this! 


	2. Unnecessary Necessities

Okay, so I'm doing the two chapter thing, but I felt that that was a pretty big cliffie in the first chapter! Well, get along little readers and round up the words of the great A.D. Williams! (sarcasm people, I don't see myself as an arrogant person!)

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**Unnecessary Necessities**

The sun had started setting and Sesshomaru had yet to have heard anything from Inuyasha's room. Not that he cared. But it wasn't like his brother to be so quiet and when he was, it meant that something was probably about to happen. He pushed his home-school homework away and went to the door. No one was in the hall. But it was his house, why was he tip-toeing around? He went to Inuyasha's door and gave him the courtesy that he'd wished Inuyasha had given him a year ago when he'd rudely walked in on him...well, you know whating, and knocked. The boy didn't answer. No sound came from within the room either. He pushed the door open a bit.

Inuyasha was sitting on his bed in the dark, his head bowed. His body was completely still. Sesshomaru could just make out the blade of the unsheathed Tetsusaiga. An unfamiliar emotion washed over him: worry. He ran over to him and shook his shoulder. Inuyasha didn't move. He listened for a heartbeat and didn't get one. "Damn it kid! What the fuck'd you go and commit seppuku for? And my scents all over you...quick, hide the body!" He grabbed Inuyasha's shirt and started pulling him toward the window, when he heard a small breath escape the hanyou. His eyes fluttered open and rolled up to meet Sesshomaru's.

"What the hell are you going?!" Inuyasha yelled at him. He stared at the hand that gripped him tightly and the window that he was half through. "You sonovabitch! You tried to kill me!" "I thought you were already dead!" Sesshomaru shot back. "You weren't breathing, and Tetsusaiga was unsheathed, and...and..." Sesshomaru looked down at him. "I figured father would blame me for your death. Perhaps he'd heard about the snitches get stitches thing." Inuyasha looked at him in disbelief. "Mandarian Bush meditation slows down the heart to about only four beats per minute. If you had've done you healthy lifestyles homework, you would've known that." Sesshomaru scratched his head. "Isn't that a condom?" "No!" Inuyasha shrieked.

Just then, the door was pushed open wider and Inutaisho walked in, flipping the light switch. He took in the open window and Sesshomaru's hold on his brother and sighed. "Oh Sesshomaru, it ain't gotta be all of that. If you need counseling, all you have to do is come to me." "Father, the last time I went to you for counseling, you told me to go to my weaponry instructor." "And what'd he say?" "That all problems could be solved with a sword." "Well there you go!" Inutaisho beamed. "Oh, sacred jewel, has everyone gone crazy on me?!" Inuyasha yelled. His father looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "So, what, you worship the sacred jewel now? Is that the latest religion, hm? Sacred Jewelism?" "At least if I could get my hands on the damn thing, it'd answer my prayers," Inuyasha said, pushing past them and leaving the room.

"Always running from his problems rather than confronting them," Inutaisho said sadly.

Then he realized that Tetsusaiga sat on his bed, transformed. "Wait, maybe he has been listening to your teachers! There might be hope for him yet!" He strode out of the room next. _Since when was suicide a celebratory thing? _Sesshomaru thought, following after them. Life on the home front was definitely becoming weirder and weirder.

----------Saturday morning----------

"Come on, boys! They're due here any minute! Get your asses down here!" Inutaisho called up stairs. Sesshomaru came down first, carrying only a duffel bag on his shoulder and his two swords. "All that defines me is right here," he said, gesturing to his belongings. His father grabbed the bag and rifted through it. "I see you've only brought one change of clothes. And iPod? And...lose the Pussycat Dolls poster! That might turn your moms on!" Sesshomaru scrunched up his face, and lightly tugged the bag away from him but still didn't remove the poster. A loud thumping on the stairs announced Inuyasha's arrival. "Okay, I'm ready," he panted, heaving his heavy bags on the floor. As he'd done with Sesshomaru, Inutaisho went through his belongings.

He stopped dead as soon as he opened the bag. With a disgusted look on his face, he tipped the whole thing over, emptying out its contents. Ramen. At least a hundred packs of ramen, all oriental flavored. "Inuyasha, what the hell am I looking at?" His father said in a tight voice. "Food," Inuyasha said simply, trying to put it back in the bag. His father held the bag out of his reach though. Grabbing the other packs, he dumped them out too, all to reveal more ramen. One had chicken, the other shrimp. "Inuyasha, why do you need ramen?" His father gave him a confused and worried look, as though he'd just realized that he didn't know his son as well as he thought he had.

Inuyasha said, "I told you, if the house was burning and I could only grab one thing, it'd be a pack of ramen. What, you thought I was playing?" "Yeah, jackass!" Sesshomaru spat. "Okay, Mr. Wiseguy, what would you grab?" Inuyasha countered, crossing his arms in an indignant manner. "My Yao Ming jersey." Both Inuyasha and Inutaisho burst into laughter, leaning on each other for support. "Wait, wait, wait," Inuyasha said. "You mean to tell me that out of all the people on that team, you didn't get anyone else's? You had to get Yao's?! What about Allen Iverson's?" "Nuggets," Sesshomaru said. "Kobe Bryant?" Inuyasha asked. "Lakers." "Micheal Jordan?" "Not on the team, and retired!" Sesshomaru couldn't believe his brother's lack of sports knowledge. Evidently he'd have to tutor him. "And besides, Yao keeps it real for the Asians, yao'mean?"

Inuyasha looked at him confused. "Sorry, that's in the other room," he told him. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. "I said "you know what I mean?" I just slurred it. You know, yao'mean?" "That shit's retarded," Inuyasha told him. "Yao wouldn't think so," Sesshomaru huffed. "That's because hopefully Yao would have the brains not to listen to such stupidity," Inuyasha retorted. "Would you two stop arguing like an old married couple?" Inutaisho cut in. "You two fight more than Ike and Tina!" A black Mercedes Benz pulled up in the circular drive way just then. "That must be them," Inutaisho whispered. "Oh, okay, I see how they're rolling these days. Big Benz. Don't need Inutaisho anymore, huh? That's alright, me and my '89 Corvet will be just fine."

Two women stepped out of the vehicle. One was evidently Sesshomaru's mother, considering she looked just like her son, down to the piercing golden eyes. The other woman had long black hair and a gentle oval face, one that most people would compare to a china doll's. They held hands as they walked up to the door. Sesshomaru noticed Inuyasha's eyes notice this, then flick away. He hadn't come to terms with his mother's relationship status.

The doorbell rang and Inutaisho went to answer it. Sesshomaru took a deep breath. _And so it begins. _

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Happy to get that out of the way! Man, I've noticed my comedy lacked here...or at least I thought so. I'll try to make sure I have more in the next one though. You know how it goes at this part, do the dew and review! 


	3. Pushing Me Away

Nothing much to say here, just wanted to mention though that the name I gave Sesshomaru's mother is one that I'd used in a previous story. And I'll admit (I seem to be doing that a lot lately!) that it doesn't sound Japanese either. But that shouldn't be too much of a problem, should it? Good!

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**Pushing Me Away**

(Name of a Linkin Park song, best group ever. If you say otherwise, we will_not _fight! I'm a pacifist...sort of!)

"Well, hello ladies!" Inutaisho said to the women in an overly cheerful voice. "I hope you've been well?" "Cut the bullshit," the demoness said in a cold voice, pushing past him into the house. The other woman followed her almost demurely. "Where are they?" Inutaisho gave a light chuckle. "Always no-nonsense. You haven't changed one bit, have you Naomi?" The woman merely glanced at him, then surveyed the house. "And I see you haven't changed one bit either." She went over to the table in the hallway that held the phone and picked something up. "You still have this _Thriller _CD sitting here...and looks as new as when you bought it, no dust at all...the only thing that's dust free in this place."

He growled low in his voice until the other woman put a hand on his shoulder. She smiled warmly up at him and he remembered why he fell in love with her. "Inutaisho-sama, where are the boys?" She asked quietly. Kami, it was nice for someone to finally use his proper title for a change. Everyone just about called him by his real name. Hell, he'd encouraged it. No one's fault but his own. "They're in the living room," he said, gesturing down the hall. Naomi automatically strode toward there, but Izayoi waited for him to lead before following.

When Naomi burst through the doors, her head whipped around, searching for them. But they were right there on the couch, Sesshomaru reading a very thick, dusty, leather-bound volume and trying to look scholarly. Inuyasha on the other hand, was holding a flower and plucking its pedals, mumbling to himself. Naomi made a bee line for Sesshomaru and yanked him to his feet. Her topaz eyes roved all over him, then she turned to Inutaisho. "Why haven't you been feeding him? He looks like a toothpick." "Well, gee, I don't know if you've noticed this, but we're in the middle of a holiday that requires fasting. As you should be." Inutaisho said with a sneer. She sniffed in contempt and turned back to her son. "Thankfully you got my looks," She said to him, turning his head this way and that.

Izayoi stepped around Inutaisho and rushed to Inuyasha. "Oh, my baby!" She grabbed him in a bear hug, snuggling her face in his chest. He didn't try to hug her back, but stared out the window as though she weren't there. She didn't seem to notice his lack of affection. "Oh, look at you! Your cute little ears actually stand up now! When you were just a baby, they were as limp as a new born pup's!" She reached up and scratched one. On impulse from Kagome doing it, he knocked her hand away. She recoiled her hand, her smile faltering for a moment. She quickly recovered herself and said brightly, "Well, shall we go?" She turned back to Naomi who was combing through Sesshomaru's hair, checking for lice. The youkai sat with his normal facade of boredom, but his right eye kept twitching in agitation.

Inutaisho picked up the bags, noticing that Inuyasha had re-packed his ramen._Can't say I necessarily blame him. If I had to grab one thing out of this house, it would be my PS5. Yeah, it's nice to be Japanese and have the first of everything Except for going to the moon. Crappy Americans. _Naomi reluctantly pulled away from Sesshomaru and led the way to the car. Sesshomaru growled low in his throat and snapped his teeth in her direction, then threw a look to Inuyasha, daring him to say something about the grooming session his mother had had on him. Once everything was stored away, final good-byes were made. "I know, I know, this is all so sudden," Inutaisho said to his sons quietly so the two females wouldn't hear. "But it's only for three months. Sesshomaru, this is the only summer you have to do this. Inuyasha, well, um...yeah." He took a deep breath. "I just wanted to say that I lo-lovvvvv..." He strained to get the words out. Finally he said, "I love spaghetti. Make sure they fix that. For me." Inuyasha still seemed like he wasn't part of this world and Sesshomaru only blinked. Their father clapped them on the shoulder, then turned them toward the car. Everyone but him climbed in, then for the longest time, he waved them off, feeling bad that he hadn't said what he should've said. "I'm going to go watch my bachelor party and drink my problems away. Now that stripper, Brittany something, now she was a keeper!"

Back in the car, both boys shifted uncomfortably from their cramped legs. This was a far cry from the limo's they were used to. "How long until we get there?" Inuyasha finally asked, his first words to them. "Just an hour, honey," Izayoi said sweetly. She reached in the visor in front of her and pulled down a CD and put it in the CD player. "I got something for you!" She said, looking at Inuyasha in the mirror. She flicked through a few songs until she found one she liked. As soon as the song started playing, he recognized it, but also knew that something was wrong. It sounded like a children's choir was singing it. "Oh hell no!" He said. "Mom, is this Kidz Bop?! How old do you think I am?! I'm nearly a grown man, where's the grown man music?" Sesshomaru slowly turned his head toward him and quirked and eyebrow. It seemed to say, "Grown man music? What?!" Inuyasha raised his eyebrows in a gesture that read, "You know you don't want to listen to that either."

A/N: I respect the idea of taking popular songs and changing them so younger children can listen to them. But after hearing what I thought of as a botched version of "Far Away" by Nickelback, I don't think I could ever listen to a Kidz Bop song again! Then again, I was trapped in the car with my dad and my younger step-sisters. And only because that's one of my favorite songs did I sing along...there, I confessed, happy?! (note the smile in the tone of this!)

Naomi snatched the CD out and tossed it out the window. "Frisbee music," She said (a term my older brother coined!) and reached for another one out of her visor. Izayoi looked like she was going to protest, but said nothing. _Well, now we know who's the dominate one of the two, _Sesshomaru sniggered to himself. The music that started playing was nothing any of them had heard before, but the change of pace was welcomed. It allowed them to adjust to something new. Sesshomaru settled back in his seat as best as he could and closed his eyes, figuring a nap wouldn't hurt. At least until the car swerved violently. He opened his eyes just in time to see his mother pass up a green vehicle and shout to it, "Go to hell, you cum flinging piss licker!" His eyes found Inuyasha's who looked ashen. They stared at each other for a moment, then as though it were a race, they both turned around and grabbed their seat belts, rushing to buckle up.

_Note to self, _he thought. _Beware of Mother's driving. _He and Inuyasha were wide awake for the rest of the ride.

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I think I'll stop there for this chapter. Did I keep my promise of comedy? Yes? No? You don't really give too much of a damn? You're ready to get on and push that little button at the bottom that says review? Okay then, I won't hold you back! 


	4. Brotherly Bonding?

Okay, chapter four, up and out! Enjoy!

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**Brotherly Bonding?**

It was already evident that Sesshomaru's mother was a violent driver, but it became clearer of just _how _violent she was as the hour progressed. She refused to let other cars over in other lanes, she turned sharply with no turn signals, and twice more she cussed out a driver. Inuyasha had begun to think of this as kind of comical and started encouraging it.

"You forgot to shoot him the bird!" He yelled excitedly to the front. "Melt his tires with your poison claws!" The fifth time he tried to yell something out, Sesshomaru dug his claws into his arm. "I thought you weren't speaking to them?" He said pointedly. Inuyasha shrugged. "She's not _my _mom." Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and dug in deeper. "I don't know how much you value _your _life, but I happen to value mine very greatly. Unless you're trying to get us both killed, I'd suggest you shut up." Inuyasha growled low in his throat, then pulled his arm away, crossing them and turning toward his window. "You have absolutely no cojones," he muttered.

Izayoi reached out and stroked Naomi's hair. "Ani--" (I believe this is a word that means love in Japanese), "There's no rush. We have them for the whole summer. How about relaxing on the wheel, hm? Besides, I think you're scaring the boys." Naomi looked in the rear view mirror. Inuyasha was still sitting moodily, looking out the window. Sesshomaru had noticed his shoe untied and had bent down to tie it, so only the top of his head was visible with a waterfall of white hair covering his face. Naomi thought that he had his head between his knees in fear. She turned back to Izayoi, and most importantly, the road. With the precision of an expert (or a crazy driver), she easily swerved around an armadillo. Inuyasha's eyes popped open in amazement as he watched it curl up and roll off into a ditch. "Sure, honey," she said, letting her foot ease up on the accelerator for the first time. Through the tangle that was his hair, Inuyasha heard his brother give a loud sigh of relief.

For a while, things were peaceful. The CD had been taken out and all that could be heard was the hum of the engine. Then, somewhere in his half-doze, Sesshomaru felt the car slowing down to a stop. He opened his eyes and saw they were in a parking lot, the building in front of them casting a shadow on the car. Bathroom break? Up front, Naomi and Izayoi were whispering. He quickly closed his eyes again and acted like he was still sleeping. He slitted one eye and noticed Inuyasha doing the same thing. They listened in on the women.

"No, not now. Just...just wait," Izayoi was pleading quietly to Naomi, who was trying to leave the car. "Oh come on, how long has it been? Four days? A week?" "It was last night, now you can wait." Izayoi said, looking out the window for something to focus her eyes on. "As if this is something _they _don't know about," Naomi reasoned, nodding her head toward the back of the car. "Maybe so, but--" Izayoi said, but Naomi had already gotten out of the car. She sighed and followed her. With them gone, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru opened their eyes. _What _do they already know about? "Ah, Sessh?" Inuyasha said, eyes wide. "Look." Sesshomaru tilted his head so he could see the name of the store better. _The Adult Depot._

Inuyasha shook his head in disbelief. "No, hell no. I'm gone." He made to get out the car, but Sesshomaru grabbed his shirt and pulled him back in. "That's their personal life, not like you have to watch," he said, a bit of a blush coming to his face to talk of such things. Inuyasha just shook his head again. "You just don't get it, do you? You don't find it weird to have two moms? I mean, you can't have a kid like that! And besides, it's just...it's just wrong," he finished, a look on his face as though his whole world had been smashed. "Well, in demon society--" Sesshomaru said, but Inuyasha cut him off. "I don't give a damn for demon society! This is my own mother I'm talking about!" Once again, he ripped away from his brother's grasp, and got out of the car, slamming the door hard enough to give it a threatening shake. Sesshomaru got out and followed him as he walked away in no particular direction.

"Inuyasha, what the hell are you doing?" he shouted at him. Inuyasha kept walking. "I'm going home, to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me." Sesshomaru stopped and cocked his head to the side. "Dude, what?!" "Chris Daughtry,_Home_," Inuyasha said, as though that explained everything. Sesshomaru just blinked._Note to self: Don't let him listen to anymore country...or rock...or whatever that's supposed to be! _He ran after his brother, tabling this conversation for later. "Look, I know this is going to be an adjustment--" "Hell yeah, it's an adjustment! A big fuckin' adjustment!" Inuyasha screamed, finally whipping around to face Sesshomaru. "Maybe I don't want to live with them! I mean, they didn't seem to care about us until now, and why _now _when they've been gone for our whole lives? Just because some stupid court says so, I have to go live with them? Where's the fairness in that?" "Life's not fair," Sesshomaru said, squeezing the bridge of his nose in a sign that read his was getting a headache. Inuyasha huffed and stormed off again.

Sesshomaru didn't move. "Damnit, Inuyasha! You have to the count of three to get your ass back here, or so help me!" Inuyasha shot his middle fingers to the air and kept going. "One!" Sesshomaru shouted. The distance between the two grew bigger. "Two!" Still, no response. "That's it, now I'm pissed! Three!" He ran after Inuyasha, grabbed him by his throat, and slammed him against a car. The alarm went off, but they both ignored it. "You're being a real ass today, you know that?" Sesshomaru said very close to his ear, too angry to yell. "You're boo-hooing cause your mom's a lesbian, well welcome to the fuckin' club! But your childish whining and complaining isn't going to change that. Grow up, _you _grow some fuckin' cojones, and get over it!" He slammed him against the car one more time for good measure, then stepped back.

Inuyasha looked up at him in a way that Sesshomaru would never forget. He looked defeated, not physically (well, that too, but...) but emotionally. His eyes looked the same way they were back at the castle, distant and unclear, except magnified by ten. He gave a strange chuckle. "You're right. I'm being foolish. I mean, who is society to say who people can be with?" Inuyasha gave an even weirder grin, and glanced back at the beeping car. "I think we should get out of here. The owner's gonna be pissed when they see that dent." He turned and walked back to the Benz, leaving Sesshomaru to follow after him and wonder about his brother's sanity.

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So, a bit more drama than comedy here! And yes, once again I mentioned music...I don't know why I keep doing that...but, uh, let's get on with this! If you would like to leave a review, press one! If you want to get a sneak preview to the next chapter (which _I_don't even know what it's going to be about! Remember, my writing's random!) press two! If you'd like to express your undying love for an Inuyasha character, press three! Do it now! 


	5. Abstract Art and Artists

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**Abstract Art and Artists**

It wasn't too long before the two women returned to the car. Inuyasha was reading a discarded magazine, though with the constant glances Sesshomaru kept giving him, he noticed that Inuyasha wasn't really reading it. They had come back empty handed; now it was Inuyasha's turn to sigh in relief. Without a word to either of them, Naomi and Izayoi got back in the car and off they drove, Naomi still keeping her promise to do the speed limit and not drive like her life depended on it.

Slowly, the highway turned into small one lane roads. The many buildings and sidewalks was replaced with long stretches of grass and more trees. Traffic thinned out, and a rural area took form. A few more minutes brought them to a sprawling lawn with a very large house sitting on it. Sesshomaru couldn't place the architecture, but it was evident that it was old with an updated flair. It gleamed white as though it'd been freshly painted. No, wait, it _had_ been freshly painted; the smell was making him woozy. Inuyasha seemed to be picking up the same thing because he draped the sleeve of his haori over his hand and covered his nose. "Can you get high on paint?" he asked Sesshomaru. "Yeah, but don't you--" Too late. Inuyasha put down his sleeve and inhaled deeply.

"You dumb-ass! What're you--" Sesshomaru had put down his own hand to chastise him and had breathed in too deeply as well. He blinked rapidly, then shook his head to clear his vision. Everything seemed kind of foggy. His mother and Izayoi's voices sounded like they were coming from an end of a tunnel. He vaguely could hear them describing the features of the house, who built it and who it previously belonged to, but for the life of him, he couldn't focus on the details of the conversation. He was dimly aware that the car had stopped. The front doors opened and Naomi and Izayoi got out. Inuyasha remained beside him. Inuyasha let his head roll on his shoulders and looked at Sesshomaru. "Dude, I am _soooo_wasted!" he said, then giggled. The giggle seemed out of place with his eyes being so vacant. Sesshomaru just shrugged and got out too. And almost pitched face first into the dirt.

Inuyasha followed his lead, and also staggered on his feet. "Whoa! That white," he said, pointing to the house. "Is like, _sooo__**white**_I mean, just look-look at that!" Sesshomaru looked at the house, then blinked again. "Wait, there's somebody up there," he said, looking at the roof. Izayoi stared at him. "No dear, there's no one there. Are you two alright?" Naomi walked over, her hand over her mouth and noticed that her son wasn't doing the same thing. "Oh no, they're stoned off the paint fumes. Well, I got a remedy that will blow even the strongest of highes. She leaned back into the car and started it up. Pulling a CD out of her visor, she put it in. Out came more Kidz Bop. She straightened up and smiled at Izayoi. "You didn't think I'd actually just throw your stuff out without a back-up, did you?" Izayoi just smiled, walked toward her, and kissed her on the lips, long and hard. For a moment, it seemed that they had forgotten about their sons.

_That_blew Inuyasha's high. His eyes immediately snapped into focus and he started busying himself with getting his luggage out of the car. All three bags of ramen. _Duffle bag boy, _Sesshomaru thought, before realizing what he was listening to. This time, it was he who ripped the CD out and tossed it. "Kidz Bop now and forever shall be frisbee music," he declared with finality. And there too, went his high. The women pulled apart for some air and Inuyasha cleared his throat in a way that clearly read, "You know, we're still here!" "Oh, sorry," Izayoi mumbled. Naomi only looked slightly agitated. "Well, come on in. Let's get you guys situated."

The walkway was lined with assorted flowers that Sesshomaru had no doubts that Inuyasha's mother had picked out. For some reason, he didn't see his own mother as being the flower type. Inside the entrance way alone was enormous. As they passed through the rooms, it became clear that everything was delicate and fragile in some way. There was so much glass and crystal. But something that caught Sesshomaru's eye was a weird piece of abstract art. It was like a pyramid with several cubes and spheres balanced on top of each other. One corner of the pyramid was flat to allow it to stand on a table, but everything above it wobbled precariously. He walked closer to it, but his mother pulled him back, the scent of her fear becoming just as potent as the paint. "Don't touch it!" She yelled. "That is a one of a kind art work done by Picavinci! He called it fondouchbog. This is the only one that's survived time. Don't touch the fondouchbog, don't smell the fondouchbog, don't even look at the fondouchbog!" Sesshomaru wondered if she'd gone crazy. Why did the name of the artist sound like Picaso and Leonardo DiVinci fused? And the name of the art could've been broken down as fondue and douche bag? What world had he stepped into?!

Inuyasha snorted at his older brother being bereted, then stepped toward a picture of the Mona Lisa with her features outlined and glowing in neon. "Who made this wack job?" Inuyasha asked, pointing his thumb at it. Izayoi rushed over to him. "Another no-toucher! This cost us a summer's vacation funds! Please be careful!" Inuyasha pursed his lips like he was going to say something, but they were swept along upstairs. There were a total of ten bedrooms, but hardly ever did they have guests that stayed over. Therefore, except for the master bedroom at the end of the hall, they could have dibs on whichever room they wanted. "The rooms have different views of the property," Izayoi was saying. "One view is of the barn in the south side pasture. Anoher great one is of the gardens. But one that seems to get a bit of popularity from the few guests we have had is the one facing toward Mt. Fuji. It must be quite a site to see the sun rise over the mountains and--" Sesshomaru didn't wait to hear her finish. He already zoomed off to find this special room, Inuyasha not far behind him.

Five rooms later and he still couldn't discern which one it was. Until a gleeful cry came from Inuyasha, who was at the opposite end of the hall, the one farthest from his mother's room. Sesshomaru rushed in and saw with dismay the view of Mt. Fuji out of the window. "Ha! I found it and you didn't!" he said in a sing-song voice. He danced circles around Sesshomaru, who was angry at himself and Inuyasha for finding it. But then something hit him. He was older. Who was Inuyasha to tell him he couldn't have what he wanted? With a crack of his knuckles, he started toward his brother.

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I believe I'll stop there for now! Once again, I think I lacked in the comedy department. But I'm tired right now, I got school in the morn (it bites rising at 6:30!), and to top things off, I missed my afternoon nap! Yeah, like an elderly person or a little kid, I have to have my naps or else I feel like I didn't get enough sleep the night before. But besides the point, still review, cause you know you want to! 


	6. He Get It From His Father

Though this ties slightly into the story, this chapter is more of a random one. Actually, it's purpose is more to get to what I want in the next chapter, but I didn't want to switch scenes so quickly. You'll see what I mean.

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**He Get It From His Father**

(Rather than she get it from her mama!)

"Look, you don't wanna do this, right?" Inuyasha tried to negotiate with his brother, who was currently holding him upside down outside his window, threatening to drop him. "I mean, if you kill me, you'll never find the buried treasure." Sesshomaru let his grip slide on his foot and Inuyasha gave a high pitched shriek. "Oh, like I don't know that one," Sesshomaru said to him. "I'd say, 'buried treasure?' And you would say, 'Yeah, of I'm a wiener.' And I'd say, 'I'm a wiener?' And you'd get your kicks and your laughs and yada, yada, yada. We've all seen that damn movie or at least it's commercial. Please, for your sake and mine, try to be original."

Inuyasha was trying to think of a way to keep his brother from taking his bedroom, but it was kind of hard doing so with all the blood rushing to his head. _What do I have that he could want? Ah-ha! My X-Men comic books! _"Hey Sessh! I got something you'd like." Sesshomaru had him by one hand, using the other to shake a figure eight ball. _Will I get lucky tonight? _He thought and shook it. No, it flat out said. He huffed in disbelief. Inuyasha continued to call his name while he gave the ball another shake and asked it, _Will my mother and _his_mother get lucky tonight? _Many times, the ball responded. _WTF?! _He gasped and threw it across the room, where it hit the wall by the closet. Something buzzed and the closet flipped around, revealing a secret entrance way. He went over to investigate, letting his brother slip from his grasp. "You'll pay for this, Captain Planet!" Inuyasha shouted dramatically, his voice fading away as he fell.

Sesshomaru slowly walked to the closet. "So, a secret passageway, hm? To go or not to go, such a difficult question." "I can answer that for you. Don't go!" Inuyasha had jumped back through the window, thorns in his hair from a rose bush below. Sesshomaru gave his brother a bored stare. "And why do you think we shouldn't go?" "Because, it's always when people go fucking with shit that shit happens! You know, like in the movies, you always got the American girl who just_has _to go exploring around the most dangerous places and then goes alone? And you're all in the theater yelling, "You dumb bitch! Get the hell away from there! But you know it's useless because, well, that's just American film makers for you, so cliché. And then the ushers come up to you all like, 'You can't yell in the theater,' And you tell them to go to hell because you paid your seven fifty just like everyone else and it's your right as a Japanese citizen to be able to yell at a frickin' screen if you want to, and no, you will not turn off your damn cell phone, because your father's getting a hair transplant and he's going to send you a picture of himself when it's done and you want to be able to tell him that he looks great even though he looks like Hulk Hogan with a handlebar mustache!"

A/N: Handlebar mustache: A mustache so long that it curls at the tips, like old school bike handlebars!

Midway through Inuyasha's rant, Sesshomaru had stopped listening to him and had once again started toward the closet. He was at its entrance and was peeking inside, sniffing the air for any dangers. He wasn't picking up on any. "Stay away!" Inuyasha shouted at him. "If you go, you might land in Narnia. Or even Hogwarts! Or worse yet, Townsville, where the Power Puff girls are always having to save the world before bedtime!" Sesshomaru gave him a dead serious look and said, "Your brain must be broken. None of these places exist. And aren't you a little old to be believing such things?" "Oh, right, like you don't still watch and believe in the _Highlander?_" Inuyasha countered. Sesshomaru was silent for a moment, then said: "Touche," and went inside the closet. Or what used to be the closet.

Inside was a dark stairwell that spiraled down a damp passageway. Inuyasha whimpered at every little sound he heard and out right screamed when he saw a rat. "What are you so frightened of?" the elder finally snapped. "You're wearing rat. Like that's just supposed to be the newest fashion. Why don't we all start wearing possum, heard that's in right now." "Remember, Father gave this to me," Inuyasha told him. "And that's supposed to make it better how? It's still disgusting." "Oh, okay, so tell me, what is that thing on your arm?" "My tail," Sesshomaru said. "Ah-ha! So you wear dog, hm? Yeah, that's real humane." Sesshomaru opened his mouth to respond, then decided it wasn't worth it. His brother had blonde moments, it was sad but true and no reasoning in the world could change his opinion once he'd set it, especially on a subject as stupid as this one.

Minutes later, they reached the bottom of the stairs. In front of them was a heavy wooden door, probably oak if Sesshomaru had to guess. Not that it really mattered, but he'd been forced into the Boy Scouts when he was younger. It shocked him that he remembered things like this. He walked up to the door and tried to open it. It didn't budge. "Hm," he pondered, thinking that perhaps he could pull it open...but with what handle? Beside him, Inuyasha pulled out Tetsusaiga. "Looks like a job for my windscar," he said triumphantly, like that was the solution. "Inuyasha, don't!" But too late. He swung the blade with all his might at the wooden door. Due to the closed in area, the blast sent them flying back up half the steps along with large pieces of of wood. Gaining his footing again, Sesshomaru rushed down to see what was left of the house.

Everything was fine, if you didn't count the large hole in the wall. Which led to...the kitchen! "No wonder that bedroom is so valuable," he mused to himself out loud. Inuyasha didn't waste any time. He ran to a cabinet and grabbed all that he could, bags of chips, Cheese Nips, Poptarts, and other assorted goodies. "And you're still fasting so you can't have none!"He sneered at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru did something that he hadn't done in a long time and was way past due. He punched Inuyasha in the face. Oh, that felt so good! To hear the sound of his fist against his brother's jaw! To see his head whip around! To see that hurt look on his face! To see those...tears? Oh god... "Aw damn, Inuyasha. Hey, I'm sorry, okay. I guess I lost control over myself." Inuyasha wiped his eyes. "It's okay, I forgive you." They looked like they were about to hug when Inuyasha punched him back. "Open chest! As if I'd let you just get away with that!"

Inuyasha cackled gleefully while Sesshomaru thought about all the ways he could torture his brother. And just how much his personality was like his father's at times, stupid

And speaking of which, back on the home front in an empty castle sat Inutaisho. Twenty beers surrounded him in the two hour period that the boys had been gone. Already he had watched his bachelor party and was now on some stupid film he had made as a freshman in college with his room mate. "Here's to curiosity. May I never get _that_curious again!" He gurgled in a drunken voice and downed the beer. _But damn I looked good back then! _He thought, then yawned. His head suddenly felt heavier and he struggled to keep his eyes open. It was too much of a struggle and he let the opposing forces of sleep take over. Sliding into the midst of the beer field on the floor, he passed out, Heineken staining the carpet.

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Another stopping point! A little heads up for the next chapter, I do know that it's going to be in Inutaisho's point of view, since this story is about all of them! Anyways, you know the drill, I don't even have to say it! 


	7. Playing With Himself

Don't ask about the title, just read!

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**Playing With Himself**

(Not as bad as you're thinking!)

Inutaisho sat on the living room floor with small cards spread around him. A timer had been upended and sand slowly sifted through the small opening for it to land in the bottom. He had been playing Taboo with himself for the past four hours and still he had yet to get any of the questions right. He played by covering the name of the person or thing at the top of the card, then, like in normal play, did not use any of the other words on the card. He wrote down any names that came to mind with what was not given and at the end of the timer, he looked to see if any of them were correct.

Well, that wasn't working out evidently! Frustrated, he kicked the box to the side, then went and got a pack of Uno cards. He drew seven, then drew seven more and placed them face-down across from him. He put the rest of the deck down and flipped over the top card. A blue seven. He looked at his hand and saw that he did have a blue card, not taking the time to remember what all was in his hand. Then he picked up the other seven cards and played according to the four that he had played, again not trying to take in the details of this hand. He went back and forth like that for a while, until the opponent had only one card. "Uno!" He yelled out to know one. "Ha, I said it before you could, so you have to draw two cards!" He picked two cards up from the main deck and handed them to the invisible player.

Eventually he got tired of saying uno every time the other "person" was down to one card, so he quit saying it. Back and forth "they" went until the other person played a wild draw four. This was the last card in their hand. Inutaisho sat there for a moment, stunned. Then he stood up and threw the cards across the room, surprised when the wild draw four stuck to the window. It made him recall a trick he'd seen David Blaine do, but I'll save that story for another time.

A/N: What Inutaisho was doing with the Uno cards is something that I myself often do. I'm too bored to do anything else, but too anti-social to seek out my brothers to ask them to play...then again, all they ever want to play is Monopoly, which I never win...unless I'm playing with just my little brother, then I wreck shop! Funny little story I'd like to tell about us and Monopoly at the end of the story, so keep reading!

He went into the downstairs bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. The face looked the same as it always did, sharp features, especially the eyes...wait, that as it. His eyes seemed to have darkened, as though they were mirrors reflecting what he was feeling at the present moment. Which he couldn't quite put a finger on. Was it sadness? Remorse? Trepidation at what was to come? And when did this look start? _When the boys left, _a small voice said. Rather than trying to deny it, he let this fact roll over him. Yeah, that was when, that morning. He gave a heavy sigh. There was something he needed to get out. Sitting down on the toilet, he started.

_Sometime back in the day..._

Inutaisho was walking down the street with his white mane of hair puffed out in a stylish afro. His tight bell bottom jeans and funky blue collared shirt were pressed and he was feeling fly_. Oh yes, I am one funky kat_, he thought (sickly, that doesn't sound right!). He was wearing his one of a kind high platformed shoes with the glass bottoms and the gold fish that could be seen swimming in them. A pick stuck out of his hair, rhinestone sunglasses shaded his eyes, and a large clock dangled from his neck, unknowingly sporting a style that would become a trademark of a certain someone, some years later.

He loved the attention his attire brought him and how the ladies swooned with his hip comments. In fact, it didn't even have to go that far. He'd look at a girl and she'd sigh as though he possessed the power to make a woman fall in love with him just like that. That is, until he met_her._ She was sitting on her porch with a few of her friends surrounding her, and he had just walked up when she had been smiling from something that was said. Inutaisho took this as a good omen. "Hey pretty lady, how you doin' this mighty fine evening? He asked in a seventies accent. The girl looked him up and down, then giggled openly. "What are _those_?" She asked, pointing to his shoes. "Oh these?" He said, acting surprised. "These are my one of a kind, platinum edition, gold fish gold shoes!" The girls looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

"I wouldn't pay fifty cents for something like that!" The girl laughed. Inutaisho still smiled. "Aw baby, you know you want some of the Taisho-Man!" This brought more laughter. His smile now started to falter. "Why you hatin' on a brother?" he said with a hurt expression. "Uh, I'm not related to you!" The girl retorted with even more laughs. "You one jive turkey, you know that?" Inutaisho said. "But that's okay. I'll forgive you if you say that you'll go to the Get Down Disco with me tonight." The girl acted like she was pondering this, then said rudely, "Not on your life!"

And that argument is how he came to know Naomi. She went to the disco and he had to ask her ten times to dance with him before she would. They went out a few times and finally tied the knot a year later. Her own big hair and sharp tounge is what he loved about her. But as the times changed and he cared less for fashion, the fashion diva had to have more and more of the top brands in everything. Inutaisho soon learned that her love seemed to be more focused on materialistic things rather than him. Or their son. The day after he was born, he went into Sesshomaru's room to find a note on the side of the crib. "You wanted an heir, now you have one," it said in her handwriting. That was it. No signature or anything. He filed for divorce that day and within a few months, he had his wish. So while he was changing diapers and filling bottles, she was in New York and such places becoming a fashion model.

So how the hell did she get custody of their son? And in a same-sex marriage at that?! He figured the court would be against something like that, but evidently people seem more unanimous that children should be with their mothers. He would never understand the legal system.

And later came Izayoi. Izayoi was your classical good girl. She went to church every Sunday, believed that there was only good in people (though it took longer to find it in some than others. Hell, she even believed Hitler was a good guy _way _deep down!), and that if you could dream it, you could do it. Well, that clashed nicely with the arrogant dog-demon. Not to mention she was a human. He had figured he'd get his use out of her, then toss her to the side. He had hit a low point in emotions after the divorce and wasn't exactly looking for someone to settle down with just then, if ever. But one thing led to another, and nobody could understand how they stayed together. But like the saying goes, opposites attract and they were definitelyopposites.

They had to elope because her father forbidded her from marrying Inutaisho. Their wedding was done in Vegas, more of a drive-thru than a wedding. Half the normal things that the preacher said weren't said and they had the suspicion that he wasn't even a real priest. But nobody questioned their documents and that's all that mattered. They were married! For about four hundred years...(I like the idea that when a demon and human mate, the human receives the demons longevity. After they divorced and the "bond" was broken, she continued her aging where she left off, around early thirties in my eyes.)

Time went by and they had Inuyasha, the joy of her life. But she kept saying that there was something missing in the relationship. He thought, like with Naomi, it was something materialistic, but it wasn't. _Now I know what it was, another woman, _thought Inutaisho bitterly. She left Inuyasha in care of him while she went to "run some errands." She never came back. That was it. His depression got so bad that one of a servant requested him to their own therapist. "I don't know what I would do without Dr. Prozac! Why, he really helped me to get on the track of enjoying life more after I caught my husband cheating on me!" The woman said in an overly bright voice. "I had chased him out of the house with a butcher knife and one of the neighbors saw me! I had to go to some counseling sessions, but after that, things were just fine! As long as I have my Prozac, nothing can go wrong!" She had reached into her purse to find the bottle of pills and couldn't find it. An eye stated twitching, then she started foaming at the mouth. An enraged howl tore from her throat and she lost it. Well, let's just say that not only did she become more acquainted with Dr. Prozac, but a few other "doctors" as well.

_Back to present day..._

That seemed like forever ago. Somehow, he and the boys had managed, learning to accept the absence of a mother from their lives. And he'd liked it. With no women, he could talk freely with his sons about anything (though the sex-ed conversation didn't go down so well with Inuyasha, making him terrified to even use the bathroom because he didn't want to touch his private parts). But now, this. They were gone for a whole summer. He picked up a T-shirt that Sesshomaru had thrown on the bathroom floor and sniffed it, tears coming to his eyes. He quickly blinked them away and went upstairs to retrieve something.

A moment later, he was back in the totaled living room playing Scrabble by himself. _Heartbreak should automatically be deigned as the winning word. Kind of like catching the golden snitch ends a game of Quidditch. _He gave another deep sigh and silently placed the letters on the board, spelling his heart out onto it the best he could.

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Alrighty then! Happy to have that out of the way...knowing I have homework that needs to be done. But hey, what else is a first hour with an AWOL teacher good for? And AWOL is a military term that means absent without leave. My fine arts teacher quit on us a week before Thanksgiving break and we have yet to have seen or heard hide or hair of the man! Anyways, I said that I had a little story about Monopoly to tell..

One upon a time—no, no, I won't do that! Okay, here it is. Back when my brothers and I were younger (much younger, I'm eighteen currently and my older brother is a year older than I am and my younger brother two years younger) we were playing Monopoly. My little brother had bought Boardwalk, which everyone knows is the highest property in the game. Well, my older brother I think had Park Place, its accomplice. He held up before my little brother a white one dollar bill and said, "I'll give you a George Washington for Boardwalk?" My little brother went with the deal! He was too young to know his presidents or monetary value. I laughed at his ignorance, and knew my older brother was wrong for doing it. But I said nothing! I let the game go on with my little brother screwed out of his property! Years later, we told him what happened and I'm happy to say that since then, he's become a better business man, though **we**seem to not be able to compete with "The Man." Anywho, please review and tell me what's on your mind about anything I wrote. Or if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for ya!


	8. Clashes of Charisma

Most of what I have to say is at the bottom. So, read this, then I'll get to the announcements!

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**Clashes of Charisma**

A week had passed since the boys had come to live with their mothers, and during that time, they had explored the entire house, finding another secret passageway, this one leading to a secret bathroom. Weird. As the days passed by, they tried entertaining themselves as best as they could. Inuyasha came up with the idea of playing Statue, where a person must hold their features and body completely still as though a statue while another person does everything in their power to make them change it, short of touching them. Usually, this comes in the form of comedy.

The thing was, though Inuyasha had suggested it, he was horrible at getting Sesshomaru to submit to laughter. He tried doing stand-up, but it was all Sesshomaru could do not to roll his eyes. Then he did some original pieces, but he wasn't meant to be a comedian, and later told him that he sucked at telling jokes beyond all reason. He did impersonations, but all his voices sounded cheesy. With an indignant huff, he flopped on the couch and said to his brother, "Fine, you do it then, see how easy it is trying to make _you _laugh." And Sesshomaru did his thing with pleasure.

Inuyasha did have a thing going with the impersonations, but he believed he had chosen the wrong people to mimic. Sesshomaru felt he had the perfect person though. Inuyasha leaned forward on the couch, his hand forming a fist under his chin and took on a serious expression, this being his "statue." The person that had come to Sesshomaru's mind was a bit of a confused character. Had he not been such a down-to-earth person, he would have laughed the moment he'd met this person. As it was, he somehow hadn't but now...now it was time for a little fun.

Wrapping his hair into a very sort pony-tail, Sesshomaru took off his obi and started twirling it in his hands. "Whoo-hoo! Yasha darling, I've missing you so much!" He said in a high-pitched voice. _Who the hell?_ Inuyasha thought, but wouldn't let it show on his face. "Oh, my precious Inuyasha, I promise that once I kill you, I'll mount your head on my wall so we'll be together forever!" Then it dawned on Inuyasha who his brother was supposed to be: Jakotsu from the band of seven. Sesshomaru wrapped the obi around Inuyasha's neck (it counted since he wasn't physically touching him) and blew kisses at him, but his breaking point came when Sesshomaru actually started to strip! He was just about to take off his boxers when he screamed, "Ah, hell no! Okay, I give, you win! Just please, put your clothes back on!" Sesshomaru smirked, and dressed again.

Eventually, even this game wore itself out. There they sat on the couch, Sesshomaru reading the thick volume that he had had the day his mother had groomed him like a child, and Inuyasha, who was singing 100 Bottles of Sake on the Wall. He had gotten to ninety-eight when he lost his patience. "Damnit, there's nothing to do here!" "Read a book," Sesshomaru suggested sensibly. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at him and said, "Brush your teeth." "That was also in the song, but really, read a book," Sesshomaru said. "BET ain't nothing but the devil's music," Inuyasha told him. Slowly, Sesshomaru turned his head toward Inuyasha. "Watch it, pal. You're messing with forces stronger than you or I. If you want to debate something, pick a less offensive topic. Keep such opinions like that to yourself."

A/N: Of course, I have mentioned music in my writing yet again! This time, what Sesshomaru suggests to Inuyasha was the song title, "Read A Book," something that's comical in its own way, and speaks a lot of truths also. The only thing that I don't really care too much for is the cuss words in just about every line. And yes, I had seen this on BET, which is why Inuyasha made the statement that he did. Understand though, that not everything I have the characters say in my writing expresses my true opinions! It's all in the name of creating personalities!

Just then, Naomi came into the living room holding the morning's newspaper in her arms. With an indifferent "Here," she tossed it on her sons' lap. Sesshomaru opened it up to find that she had only given him the classified section. "What's this?" "Your wake-up call. You're bored, there you go. Do a few good deeds for once." She coolly walked away, leaving him to stare at the paper with a confused expression. Inuyasha reached over and snatched it away. "Hell, _I'll_find a job if you don't want to." He started searching the top part of the paper for the job sections, passing by anything that required driving or cleaning. Finally, he found something that looked likable. "Secretary needed, no experience required. Decent pay, part-time. Must know how to type. Hey, I can do that!" Sesshomaru gave him another stare. "Uh-huh. And since when have you known how to type?" "Pssht, I'm a self-taught typist, you didn't know?" "No, I honestly didn't," Sesshomaru said in a dry voice.

Inuyasha pulled a pen from his pocket and circled the ad. Then Sesshomaru took the paper and searched it. He found nothing he liked on the first sheet, nothing on the second, and was about to give up when he saw a very tiny ad down at the bottom of the last page. "Lifeguard needed. Must be strong swimmer and willing to take un-paid internship in field for one week. Hm, doesn't sound bad." Now it was Inuyasha's turn to stare. "You, a lifeguard? Ha! That's hilarious! This is coming from the guy who thought that pools had huge drains that could suck people into them!" His brother grabbed one of Inuyasha's ears and pulled it, mocking back, "You, a secretary! Ha! This is coming from the guy who doesn't even know what PC stands for." "You don't either!" "Yeah, but I'm not trying to become a secretary, am I?"

Sesshomaru released him, then snatched the pen from his hand and circled his ad. They stared at each other for a moment, then made a mad dash for the telephone on the other end of the house. _How fitting, they have this huge-ass house, but only one phone! _They both thought. Sesshomaru was in the lead at first, until he tripped over a table. "Ow! Stupid mother fu--"and thus followed a list of words that perhaps I need not say and then some that more than likely are not listed in any guide to swearing. Sesshomaru got back up, morphed into a great dane sized dog, and passed Inuyasha up. Or tried to. Inuyasha hopped on his back and went along for the ride. When Sesshomaru tried to skid to a stop in front of the phone, he missed the mark and like the little golden retriever puppy on the old toilet paper commercials (can't remember which one), he slid into a wall and crashed, except there was no toilet paper to cushion the impact. He let out a yelp as his head cracked against the plaster.

Inuyasha had jumped off at the last second and thus was the first to reach the phone. He pulled the paper out of his haori and dialed the number on his ad. Sesshomaru transformed back and limped over to him, cradling his head in one hand. "Lucky bastard," he muttered, but Inuyasha held up a finger to quiet him. Sesshomaru lifted his other arm and exclaimed in surprise, "Oh, wow, look at that!" He pulled from his kimono sleeve a biscuit from a week ago. "Oh jewel shards, tell me you're not going to eat that?" Inuyasha whispered. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at him again taking the shards in vain, then said, "Somewhere in America, there's some little kid who would die to have this biscuit." "No there's not! Everyone knows that Americans are fat, wealthy snobs!" Then he turned away from him and began talking into the phone, leaving Sesshomaru to chew noisily on the stale roll.

A few minutes later, Inuyasha hung up. "Well, they want to see me for an interview tomorrow! They said that it took a lot of guts for a guy to call for a secretarial position. They think I have great charisma!" "Chay for you!" Sesshomaru said in a sarcastic enthusiastic voice. Inuyasha let it slide and went to tell him mother the good news. Wiping bread crumbs from his fingers, Sesshomaru dialed the appropriate number. A few rings, then: "Hello?" "Yeah, I'm calling about your ad in the newspaper, the one for the lifeguard position." A silence, then: "Who are you?" "Um, a potential lifeguard?" Sesshomaru ventured. "Name?" the person asked. "Sesshomaru Taisho. That's S-E-S-S--" "How old are you?" The person cut him off. "Um, seven hundred-fifty? But I'll be seven hundred fifty-one this fall and--" "Come in tomorrow afternoon at one." And then the line went dead. Sesshomaru stared at the receiver for a moment, then cautiously put it back on the hook. "That sounded more like I was making a drug transaction than an innocent phone call," he muttered to himself, and also went to tell his mother the "good news."

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Wow, such love I've received from you reviewers! For that, I want to thank all of you! I'd like to give a special thank you to Krazi3-AnimeLover, for a brilliant idea that she'll see utilized throughout my story, and of course to Nikkie23534, who's not only been like a second mother and older sister to me, but also for staying with me throughout my crazy stories! Thank you so much for your inspiration! Make sure to go check out both of their stories! Oh, and if any of you are a fan of Maximum Ride, I'm also currently writing a story for that (which is why I don't update this story as often as some). Okay, enough of that! I don't want to make people jealous! Please add to the love by reviewing! 


	9. Superstitious Religions

This is more of a passing the time away chapter, bored at home (calling in sick from school, cue coughs) though I'm not really sick...or at least not bad enough to stay home! My mom doesn't even know I'm here! Oh yeah, this girl's bad! Anyways, get to reading!

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**Superstitious Religions**

Wanting to make sure their sons made a good impression on the interviewers, Naomi and Izayoi took them to have tailored suits made. Sesshomaru went first, standing in front of a large mirror as a man ran measuring tape around his body and marked down calculations. Sesshomaru yawned and shifted his feet, and quickly was jerked back into place by the man. He looked him straight in the face and cracked his knuckles. "Do it again, and that's you life." The man went on as though he hadn't heard him.

When he was done, Inuyasha stood in front of the mirror next. Inuyasha had less patience than his brother, and continually had to be adjusted for everything to be correct. Then, with a sudden movement, he cried out, "Ouch! Damnit, you stuck me with a pin!" "Well, if you'd hold still monsieur, you wouldn't have to worry about that." the man huffed, and jerked Inuyasha back into position. Sesshomaru chuckled and hid a grin behind his hand, then laughed even harder at the thought of his wayward brother in a suit! Suddenly he was giggling out loud and couldn't stop it. He leaned against the mirror for support, but pulled away when a loud crack was heard. The mirror had a small puncture mark in it.

"Don't worry people, just a scratch," He said to those near him. Then the mirror started cracking, a spider web-like pattern forming all over it. "Um, that can still be fixed," Sesshomaru said with not much certainty in his voice. As though waiting for some cue, the entire mirror shattered, glass littering the floor. All eyes were on him and everything was quiet. "We-we can still pay for that..." he said weakly "Dishonor!" His mother screamed at him. "Dishonor on our who family! Why, my mother must be turning in her grave to have a grandson as pathetic as this!" "I'm not pathetic," Sesshomaru said very quietly, not wanting his mother to hear him. Now it was Inuyasha's turn to laugh.

"Oh, and what are you laughing at?" Naomi said, rounding on him. "You have inherited your father's eyes!" "What?!" Inuyasha asked. "No duh I have his eyes, you don't see my mother with golden eyes, do you?" She slapped him across each cheek. "Don't get fresh with me boy!" She spat. "Your father has the eyes of a dragon. A devil. A beast! You do too!" "Yo, what's up with all the Chinese superstitions? My dad's a dog demon. He has the eyes of a dog demon. He's no dragon." Naomi slapped him again. "I see you also have his ignorance. Dishonor!"

She turned to the tailor and bowed low to him. "Forgive me, Kurasake-san. I have my ex-husband's foolishness to blame for them acting like heathens." Izayoi opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but Naomi threw her a nasty look and she closed it. "All's forgiven," the tailor said. "Besides, we'd been wanting to get rid of that mirror anyways. We just were all too afraid to move it in case it broke. Seven years' bad luck, you know." He bowed back, lower though because of Naomi's status, and started cleaning up the glass. The women rushed their sons through the doors, Naomi chewing them in a demonic tounge that none of them knew.

When they got back home, she grabbed each of them by an ear and pulled them to the kitchen. There, she poured salt over them. "To wash away the evil spirits that no doubt have followed us back," She said. She ordered Izayoi to put up sutras around the house. She obediently obeyed. Naomi grabbed a brillo pad and scrubbed their faces and arms. "Hey, is this necessary?" Inuyasha said. She scrubbed his face and ears harder. "For you, yes. Such dishonor!" She trailed off in her demonic language. After she was done with that, she went and fetched a stone and flint and struck them against their backs, causing sparks. "For good luck, which you two could use all the luck in the world."

She pulled a small coin purse out of her kimono sleeve and handed a few coins to each of them. "There is a well in the garden. Go to it and throw this money in and say a prayer to the gods and our ancestors that they will forgive your foolishness. Go, hurry! Evil might be descending upon us as we speak!" Sesshomaru and Inuyasha glanced at each other and went do do as his mother had asked. "This is some bull!" Inuyasha shouted, once they were far enough away from the house. "I agree with you on that," Sesshomaru said. "What does giving your money to a well have to do with luck? _This _is foolishness!" When they had reached the well, they stared down into it. If there was water in it, it was very low and the sunlight would not refract from it. "So, you going first, or me?" Inuyasha asked. Sesshomaru shrugged, then tossed his coins in. "Oh great and mighty gods! Hear my prayers! I pray for a 12oz steak with butterfly shrimp! Available at your nearest Applebee's!"

Inuyasha laughed, then started to throw his coins in, but put them in his pocket. "Man, fuck that! That's like ten dollars worth of change right there! Hell, if we keep 'dishonoring' our ancestors, we could get rich like this!" He walked away, whistling a light tune. Sesshomaru stared into the well again. For a second, he saw himself jumping down there to get his change. _He does have a bit of a point. _But he left the money where it was and went back into the house.

Izayoi was done with the sutras and Naomi had taken up looking through her almanac for inauspicious days, alternating between mumbling "dishonor" and "such shame!" to herself. The boys weren't trying to hear anymore of that, and went upstairs to their rooms. Or tried to. "Sesshomaru!" she called. Her son gave a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. "Yes mother?" "Don't take on that tone with me! Get down here!" He clunked down each step till he was back in the kitchen. "Yes?" "I need you to behead a chicken and spread its blood at every entrance into the house." His eyes narrowed. "You_what?!" _She narrowed her eyes back. "You heard me. Now do it."

Sesshomaru reached up and grabbed the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as he did so. "Mother, what will this solve?" "Your stubbornness! Now go! There are chickens in the coop at the far east of the property."_Why would a demon have chickens?_ Sesshomaru thought as we went out the door. Just as he mother had instructed, there was a coop at the end of the property. In the shed next to it, he found an ax. It was as though the chickens knew what he wanted and as soon as they saw the ax, they began to flutter around in their cages. "Oh, don't do this to me now," Sesshomaru sighed. He scanned the rows for a moment, then decided on a scrawny one at the very end. "You don't look like you have much use." He reached in and grabbed it, cursing himself for not wearing gloves when it started pecking at his hands.

Not far from the coop was a slaughtering house. There, he took the chicken to behead it. A long table old with use looked like as good a place as any. He set the chicken down as best as he could, then raised the ax. "Please don't kill me!" someone said. Sesshomaru looked around, then down at the chicken. "What'd you say?" "Please! I have kids!" The chicken said. "Are you talking to me?" Sesshomaru asked. "Yeah I'm talking to you! You see anyone else with an ax around here? Look, you don't have to do this. Just let me go. Say I ran away for something. Please, just don't do this!" "Why should I spare your life?" Sesshomaru asked it. "Didn't you just hear me? I have kids! They need their father! Just look in your heart and ask yourself, what would Jesus do?" Sesshomaru pondered his question for a moment, then brought down the ax on its head.

"You stupid sonovabitch!" The chicken screamed, despite it's head not being on. Then it got up and ran around the area for a moment. It came to a stop at Sesshomaru's feet. "What would Jesus do?" It asked again. "I don't know, I've never met him," Sesshomaru answered seriously, and the chicken fell over, dead. _Oh, shit. A talking chicken. And I just killed it. If this doesn't sound like bad luck, I don't know what does. _He grabbed the body and carried it back to the house, shocked at himself for actually doing what his mother told him to do and spread the blood in front of every entrance and exit, windows included.

It was dinner time when he had finally finished. He came inside and washed his hands in the kitchen sink, noticing that the table was only set for two. "So, where's my plate?" He asked them. "We're fasting, remember?" His mother told him. Only Izayoi and Inuyasha had plates in front of them, Izayoi's only with a bit of vegetables on hers, but Inuyasha's was loaded with four different kinds of meat, gravy smeared over his mouth. He gave his brother a wicked grin that was more half chewed roast than teeth. "Told ya you couldn't have none!" he said, spitting his food. "Don't make me beat the Japanese out of you," Sesshomaru said, and left for his room.

Despite the fact that they'd only gone in to get their suits made that day, they would be ready for them tomorrow, the day of both their interviews. He looked foreword to finally getting out the house and away from his mother so he wouldn't have to "dishonor" her anymore. Not that he really cared.

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Ooooh, the interview! Starts Friday in theaters everywhere (this film has not yet been rated). Alright, enough of that. Review and tell me what you thought of this! 


	10. Sesshomaru's Intimidation

So sorry for the long break from updating. Since I'm living in New Orleans, Mardi Gras is a big thing and it just passed (I personally didn't do any celebrating. With all the murders that happen, I'll admit I'm pretty scared to go out!) but we got out of school for three days this week, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Also, on Friday, we had a gas leak at our school and went home early, so I had a five and a half day weekend! Ah, how lovely! Anyways, here's the next chapter and in fact, to make up for it, I'm posting two! Read 'em, like 'em, love 'em!

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**Sesshomaru's Intimidation**

Sesshomaru sat stiffly in his chair. The place his interview was taking place looked like some kind of ad agency. There were several other people waiting in the lobby as well as buffed guys and women who looked like swim-suit models. Sesshomaru had never taken a stance in his own looks as to whether or not he was good-looking, but he did know one thing: these people unnerved him.

He shifted and crossed and uncrossed his legs a dozen times. He overheard one man telling the other, "This is my third transfer. Every beach wants me to work for them! I did some work in the Bermuda Triangle for about six months. Got this great white shark bite for saving an old woman who had fallen out her row boat." "You never got lost out there?" the other guy asked him. "Naw, not when you've been swimming as long as I have. My mother said I was practically born in the ocean!"_ And my mother would think you were the luckiest person in the world considering your always covered in salt water, _Sesshomaru thought dryly. _Personally, I see you as a one-upper, always having to out-do somebody. _

The man's name was called before his and he stood up with a confident smile on his face. He sauntered into the appropriate room with not even a glance back at his companion. _Don't get hired, don't get hired, don't get hired, _Sesshomaru crossed his fingers and prayed. Time ticked slowly by and it was a full half-hour before the man came back out, he and the interviewer still laughing about something said. The other man went back inside and shut his door. Mr. Full-of-Himself clapped his hands once and brought his fist down near his side in that, "Yeah, I nailed it!" gesture. "Piece of good old fashion American pie," he said to his friend as he passed, who had stared sweating profusely. The man gave one loud gasp, then fell out of his chair and onto the floor.

You would have thought that this was planned. The arrogant man turned around sharply. "Back off, give him some space!" he yelled to everyone and they cleared a respective circle for him to get through. He knelt next to the man and checked his pulse. Then he straightened up. "You, get me some water," he said urgently to someone. "You, go get some towels. And you," he added to one of the attractive model-looking women. "Give me your phone number." "Um, is that really necessary?" she asked, biting her lip. "Please, it's a matter of life or death!" She quickly pulled out a piece of paper and wrote her number down on it and handed it to him. "Thanks, doll-face," he said, flashing her a golden smile. She blushed and nodded.

"Oh, that's some bullshit!" Sesshomaru shouted, but it was drowned out by the person who brought the water, shouting that they got it. The man took the cup and carelessly threw it over the fainted man's face. The guy sat bolt upright, coughing and spluttering. The crowd began to clap for the one-upper as though he had done something miraculous. "Oh, thank you, thank you!You people are too kind! I'm really gonna enjoy working here!" He handed the towels that had been retrieved to the sopping wet man and said, "Knock 'em dead," which Sesshomaru found to be inappropriate considering the current situation. He winked at the woman who had given him the phone number and walked out the door, waving like a champion as everyone continued to applaud him.

"Okay, am I the only person who thought that was the biggest pile of bullshit ever?"Sesshomaru said to the man next to him. "I don't know, that was some pretty amazing stuff," the guy said. Sesshomaru gave him an open mouthed stare and shook his head incredulously. What the hell was wrong with these people?!

Everyone continued to talk about the "incredible rescue" the man had made, and Sesshomaru was very nearly on the edge of cussing everyone out, when his name was called. "Sesshomaru Taisho?" the receptionist called. He got up and walked across the room with a purpose, trying to get away from the people as quickly as possible. The room where he thought the interviewer was was just a small room with nothing in it. No windows, no furniture, nothing. There was another woman in there, very stern looking. As soon as the door shut behind him, she gave him a cold stare and said, "Strip." Sesshomaru blanched. "What?!" "Do you need a hearing aid? I said strip." "I have better hearing than you," he said coldly. "But I'm just curious as to know why you want me to do this." She sighed like it was going to cost her something to say this and said, "We have an image to keep. We like 'em nice and trim. Now strip. The other guy didn't ask questions, why do you?"

That was all the initiative Sesshomaru needed. Giving his obi a tug, it loosened and untied, making everything else slide off his body (excluding his boxers!). The woman's expression never changed. She gave a curt nod, then said, "Dress," then turned her back and begun writing something on a clipboard. She stepped aside to reveal a door the same color as the room walls and pointed him through it.

There, the interviewer sat behind his desk, twirling a pen in one hand and shooting baskets with a small nerf ball into the hoop on top of the filing cabinet with the other. "Hiya, there! Have a seat! Name's Jimmy, Jimmy Dean like the sausages." "Um, okay..." Sesshomaru said cautiously. "So, where ya from?" the guy asked friendly. "Here, Tokyo, Japan." "Ah, kunnichiwa!" the man said, giving an impromptu bow, and not a very good one either. Some Americans tired too hard to be Japanese. "So, hear you're the son of the great dog demon, or taiyoukai as you might call it, Lord Inutaisho." Sesshomaru didn't respond, and when he didn't the man went on. "I gotta tell ya Sessh—I can call ya Sessh, can't I?--Sessh, I'm a little confused as to why you want to work here. You have money and wealth beyond measure. You basically own the entire western half of Japan. What more do you want?"

"Freedom from my mother," Sesshomaru said truthfully. Mr. Dean stared at him for a moment, then slapped his knee and started laughing. "Oh, boy that's a good one! You really are a card, aren't you?" 'Freedom from my mother!' I'ma have to write that down! Okay, Mr. Taisho, you've got your wish, you're hired. Be here at eight o'clock sharp and don't forget your goggles and sunscreen. Go on, scat!" he laughed.

Only for a brief moment while he was leaving did Sesshomaru wonder about why the man hadn't asked him any more questions, but he he let it go. So what? He had a job! He wondered how Inuyasha was fairing during his interview.

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Okay, this chapter was a bit shorter than what I normally write I think, but there's another chapter out that'll make up for it. Please review! 


	11. Inuyasha's Anatomy and Caffeine

Like I said, I'm doing the two chapter update thing, and here's the second one. Enjoy!

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**Inuyasha's Anatomy and Caffeine**

Inuyasha's day had started out bad. He'd woken with only twenty minutes to get to the place the interview was to take place, thanks to Sesshomaru, who first didn't wake him up from his afternoon nap until it was too late (he saw it as a deliberate sabotage to him getting the job), then his brother had taken forever in a lifetime in the shower, using up all the hot water. His shower was very brief due to using cold water and he felt that he could use another one because he'd used little soap so he wouldn't be too late. Then he'd had to hop through the trees in his business suit to get to the building. People stopped and stared at the teen rushing through the trees like Tarzan, but it was the quickest way to ensure that he'd be there on time.

On one of his landings, he'd come across a man who'd just left a Starbucks. Inuyasha snatched up the coffee in his hands and downed it. "Thanks pal, owe you a million!" He then hopped off, leaving nothing to suggest that he'd even been there except the empty cup. The thing was, though, considering not only Inuyasha's age, but also the fact that he was half demon, he and coffee didn't mix. He was hopping through the trees so fast that he had trouble discerning his own self where he was going! He crashed into a large red wood, but popped up off the ground like a spring. "Whoa, I didn't even feel a thing!" he said excitedly, then continued on his way.

Strangely, he got there not on time, but five minutes early! "I'm here for the interview!" He nearly yelled at the receptionist, who was on the phone at the moment. She held up a finger to tell him to wait a moment, but his nerves were on edge. He reached over the counter and pressed his finger on the button on the machine to make her lose the call. She gave him a cold stare. "Hey, hi there. I'm here for the interview?" He said again, tapping his fingers on the counter top loudly and very fast. "Have a seat, I'll call you when they're ready." she said, giving him a fierce look and pointing to a chair.

He sat down, then picked up a magazine on the table before him. Not only were his motor skills on turbo, so were his reading skills. He flipped to a random page and started reading, not knowing he had finished it in five seconds flat! Then he flipped the page and read the next and the next. He'd finished the magazine within a minute and threw it down, tapping his fingers on the side of his face as though he was extremely nervous. No one else was there, so he had no one to talk to. And thus began talking to himself.

"Hiya there, name's Inuyasha! Inuyasha's my name, nailing this interview's my game!" he practiced for when he went in. The woman behind the counter stopped typing to stare at him. "Oh, where'd I get this suit? Oh, just some store. What's that? You want one too? Give me this job and I might be able to make that happen!" "Sir, there's no one here," she said to him. Inuyasha gave her an annoyed stare. "Mind your damn business, woman! I'm here for an interview about a secretarial position, so I guess you're about to get canned!" The woman gasped. _This does make the fifth time I've come into work late in two weeks. But I've been with the firm for two years, they wouldn't fire me!_

The minutes passed and still nothing had happened. Now to pass time, Inuyasha had cut the bottoms off of two paper cups from the water machine in the lobby and held them up to his eyes, making buzzing sounds like a fly. He got up from his seat and ran around like a little kid, engrossed with his game. He hovered around the woman, especially the sandwich that was beside her. Taking things a step further, he reached over and grabbed it, shoving it in his mouth. "Rude-ass bastard!" She shouted. Inuyasha only gave a muffled buzz and "flew" off.

A door behind the front counter opened and a woman in a business suit came out. "Inuyasha Taisho?" she asked, looking at some papers. Inuyasha stopped buzzing, mustard covering his mouth and the cups still on his eyes. He tried to swallow, couldn't, and grabbed the bottle of soda off the receptionist's desk. He took a long swallow, then set it back down. The woman picked it up and made a disgusted face at the backwash of meat, cheese and lettuce in the drink. "Oh, you're just nasty," was all she could say and held it out for him to take it. He turned it this way and that for a moment, then downed it, food and all. Now to add to the coffee, he had caffeinated soda in his system.

He followed the woman into an office. He rushed past the woman and sat down in the chair behind the desk, spinning it around in a circle. "Wheeee!" he shouted, laughing freely. The woman only crossed her arms and stared at him. "Sir, your seat is here," she pointed to the one in front of the desk. "No, I don't think so," Inuyasha said, giving another spin. "This chair is much funner." She sighed and went around the desk, grabbed Inuyasha bodily, and dragged him to his appropriate seat. He fumed and slumped in his chair like a sulking child.

"Now, I want to ask you a few--" "Got any candy?" Inuyasha interrupted her. "Um, no. This is a law firm, candy is for children at candy stores. Now, as I was saying, I'd like to ask you a few questions and if you could just--" "How long is this gonna be?" he asked impatiently, looking at his watch. He'd checked it several times, but knew full well that it had broke when he crashed into the tree. The woman knew it too. "Sir, we have a clock on the wall and this will only take a few minutes if you'd let me finish. How old are you?" "Thirty-seven," Inuyasha answered quickly. She put down her pen and stared at him. "Twenty-four?" he ventured. Still she stared. He sighed and said, "Fifteen." She wrote this down on her paper.

A/N: I know most people are thinking that I got his age wrong, but from what I've read on-line, actually, Rumiko Takahashi said her own self that Inuyasha's age and intelligence is about equal to that of a fifteen year-old. This way, he's not really older than Kagome in the show. Usually I like to imagine him older, but if I've lowered Sesshomaru's age (he's about seventeen here), then I had to lower his as well!

He leaned forward to see her notes, which she pulled protectively against her. "Have you ever held a job before?" "Hell yeah, I have! For two weeks I had to massage my dad's back. He said he'd hurt it 'on the job' but I'm not sure." The woman started to write this down too. "Has your father ever touched you inappropriately?" Inuyasha thought about it. "Just last week he came into the bathroom just as I was getting out of the tub and rat-tailed me with a towel and said that he was proud of me for hitting the gym because now I had rock-hard abs." The woman's pen was a blur as it moved on the paper.

She asked him a few other things, and he politely answered them, his hyperactivity seemingly gone. Until the last few minutes of the interview. "So, did I get the job? Hm, did I, did I, did I? Tell me I did. I really need this! Like really, really, really bad! Speaking of which, you got a bathroom I could use? I mean, I got a chocolate swirly I've been holding for forever! I'm prairie dogging here!" "Prairie dogging?" The woman asked. "Yeah, you know how a prairie dog sticks its head in and out of its hole?" The woman thought about it for a moment, then gave a disgusted groan. "Oh, god! There, down the hall, first door on the left!" she quickly instructed him. He took off without another word.

She thought that she was through with him until he came back in ten minutes later. "Whew, that was a close one! Man I feel twenty pounds lighter! Hey, I just wanted to thank you for the interview, happy that you were kind enough to consider hiring me." He held out his hand for her to shake it, but she noticed that his hand didn't look wet like he'd washed it. Even when you dry your hands with a paper towel, you can still tell it was wet a moment ago. His hand looked nothing like this, and she kept her hands in her lap, refusing to shake his. He frowned, reached across the desk, and forced her to shake his hand. He kept it going up and down for a moment, continuing to rain down thank-yous until she could pull away. "And I really hope to hear some good news from you soon!" he said as he mercifully left. The moment he did, she pulled a bottle of Lysol disinfectant wipes from her desk, snatched out nearly all of them and began to wipe her hands off.

He wore a bright smile on his face as he left the building. He donned his cups again and buzzed through the door, clapping his feet to the side once as he did it. For the moment he was on cloud nine and nothing could bring him down.

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Okay, don't ask me what compelled me to have Inuyasha act so childish during his interview. And as to whether or not he's going to get hired, you'll just have to wait 'till the next chapter! Now please review! 


	12. What Hurts the Most

Been a very long time since I updated! So sorry, got caught up with something I just found out about Myspace. You guys probably already know this, but only recently did I add to my computer Myspace IM. That was the first discovery. The second was that if you hit the call button on there, and if you and your contact have a microphone, you two can talk to each other as though on a phone! I was in my advanced math class on a laptop and speaking to someone! And oh man, did I freak out! Instead of speaking into my computer which has a microphone built into it, I kept typing IM's to the person, part of the reason being that I didn't want everyone to think I was talking to myself! Anyways, here's another chapter. Do enjoy! And IM me if you like! My Myspace address is on my profile here!

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**What Hurts the Most**

(Dedicated to a Rascal Flatts song...old, but you gotta love a little country!)

The boys were still gone at their interviews when Izayoi and Naomi woke up later that morning. Sesshomaru's mother wondered a bit over why her son had left so early considering his wasn't until the afternoon, but only a bit. She loved him, but finally, she and her mate were alone. She looked over to a grinning Izayoi. "Now?" she asked. Izayoi giggled and hit her with a pillow.

Before Naomi would attack back, the other woman jumped out of the bed and ran down the stairs. And the chase was on! They ran around the living room several times like little children, Naomi letting Izayoi get away only for the thrill of seeing her run. Catching her would be so much sweeter this way. But the human woman ran out of breath too soon and collapsed on the couch. Naomi put a hand on her hip and stared at her. "So that's all? You have more stamina at night than this!" Izayoi giggled again and said, "That's because I haven't had my coffee yet. Let me get a cup and then we'll see who can do what!" She got up and went into the kitchen. Reaching up into the cabinet over the stove, she groped for the coffee tin. She felt nothing.

A cold sensation ran down her spine. She felt around again. Nothing. "Naomi?" she asked quietly, her voice starting to shake. "Where's the coffee?" Naomi, who was taller than her, stood on tippy-toe to see into the cabinet. She couldn't make out anything. "It should be up there. If it's not, then perhaps it was misplaced." Izayoi's heart picked up speed. She quickly grabbed a chair from the table and moved it over to the stove to stand on it. Except for the creamer and coffee filters, the cabinet was empty.

The panicked heart became audible as Izayoi started panting with worry. She gulped. "Naomi-kun, I'm not seeing it!" she said in a high-pitched voice. Naomi only shrugged. "So? It's just coffee." "JUST COFFEE?!?!" Izayoi shrieked, finally losing all composure. She jumped off the chair and into Naomi, backing her up into a corner of the kitchen. "What you call 'just coffee' is just what holds the strings of my sanity together! I cannot function without coffee! Too much stress! Too much pressure! Are you understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth?! I—need--coffee!!" Now Naomi was starting to get concerned. She could never remember coffee being such a big deal with her before, what'd changed? Or was it that they'd always had coffee? She couldn't remember, she never did the shopping. Or not the grocery shopping anyways. She was in charge of the lingerie. You gotta stick to what you're good at.

Izayoi pulled away and paced the room, walking in circles around the island in the middle. "Where to get it, where to get it, where to get it," is what is sounded like she was repeating. "Um, you know, there are such things as supermarkets." Naomi chimed in, trying to be helpful. "It's Sunday! Everything's closed!" _What ever happened to Super Wal-Marts or something? Oh wait, that's America. _"Can't you just wait until tomorrow?" Izayoi came to an abrupt halt and rounded on her. "Do _what_?" she asked in a deadly voice. "Tomorrow. Wait until tomorrow." "It will be too late by then," Izayoi said quietly, more to herself than to Naomi. "The transformation will have begun." WTF?! "And thus I am checking you into a counseling center," Naomi said, heading for the phone.

Just as she was finishing up the call (yeah, she really did call!), Izayoi ran into the hall and threw herself at her. "Why doesn't he love me?" she sobbed. Now what? "Who?" Naomi bristled. They had cut men from their lives for a reason. So who was this? "Inuyasha! Why doesn't Inuyasha love me? And Sesshomaru hates me too! I know it!" "Oh, you know that's not true," Naomi tried to console her. But honestly, she'd noticed it too. Inuyasha would hardly look at his mother and Sesshomaru, well, Sesshomaru was always aloof, but he'd seemed to add an edge to that for Izayoi. And for herself, now that she came to think about it.

"They love you. They're just boys. They have a funny way of showing affection. At least they speak to you." Izayoi gave a wail and sobbed into her more. Today really wasn't the day for water works. "Look, why don't I go out and find you your favorite pie, what's the one from America you like so much? Apple pie?--_Kami I wouldn't be caught dead eating a fruit pie!--_and you just calm down, okay?" But Izayoi didn't seem to hear her. She was a million light years away, doing the exact same thing that Inuyasha had done to her when they'd first come to pick them up, withdrawing into her self.

Naomi's mood changed from mildly concerned to high alert terror. Everything in her body was screaming that something was wrong with her mate, but no matter how hard she tried, there was nothing she could do to bring Izayoi out of the depths she'd crawled in. Then her anger started to rise toward the boys. So much so that when they finally came back, Sesshomaru his usual quiet self, and Inuyasha hyped beyond all reason, her checked anger became unchecked.

She boldly walked up to the younger boy and punched him, then pushed him down. Sesshomaru, almost as a reflex, reached out a hand and grabbed her. "What the hell, bitch?!" Inuyasha yelled. She struggled against her son to get at him, but Sesshomaru now used both arms to restrain her. "What is wrong with you?" he asked into her ear. "You ungrateful bastards!" She screamed, tearing at Sesshomaru's clothes and arms, but still he didn't let go and only winced slightly from the pain. "Look what you did to her! Look at her!" She pointed to where Izayoi sat on the couch, staring absentmindedly at the TV. Or more like some distant point beyond it.

A knock at the door paused their fray. Inuyasha, throwing a hateful glare at Naomi, went to answer it. Three men in white uniforms strode past him and into the mansion. "Izayoi Konnasume?" one asked, looking at a clipboard. Inuyasha nodded to his mother for them. They nodded back and gently two of the men helped her up. Her hair had come undone from a ponytail and hung wet and limp against her face. Never once did Naomi struggle to get at her. They led her outside where a van as white as their clothes awaited her. On the side of it said Brier Ridge.

"Wait, isn't that the nut house from _The Green Mile?_" Inuyasha asked no one in particular. "Yes sir, it is," The man with the clipboard said. "Some sick bastard thought it'd be funny to really make that a real place. But don't worry, it's nothing like how they showed it on the movie." He gave him an unconvincing wink. They slid the door shut and off they drove. Izayoi never looked back.

When all was quiet, Sesshomaru let go of his mother. "Explain," was all he said. She pushed her own hair out of her face, then said, "How could you? She loved you two! Loved even you, Sesshomaru. But that wasn't what you wanted, was it? People can lose sight of reality when their feelings are not returned by someone. At first, I thought this all started over a cup of coffee. But now I see it was just a cover for how she felt. Coffeelove. She needed love and you two didn't give her that. Now she's gone and you two can go back to your father. Just pack your stuff and go."

Inuyasha glanced at his brother. Of course his face was blank. "So, she started trippin' over a cup of coffee, then had a breakdown about us not loving her? Seems to me she was on the brink of losing it to begin with." Sesshomaru said. "Hey, I know how hard it is to jump start your day without coffee, believe me!" Inuyasha said, running a bit still on his expresso from earlier. But it was quickly starting to wear off. "You...can't do...anything...yawn without it. I mean...it's the greatest (insert another yawn)...invention ...since...steroids." And here he crashed to the floor, all energy spent from his tree travels.

Sesshomaru looked at him, then back at his mother's tired face. The anger wasn't in her actions anymore. It was in her eyes. "I'll go pack his bags for him," he said. "All four hundred packs of ramen." As he left to his room, he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. What had they done to the women? Is this what has come from Inutaisho's upbringing? He would never admit it, but a piece of him didn't want to go.

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Wow, another drama chapter! But I'm getting another idea of how I want this story to play out. The jobs are still part of the story, trust me! They're really going to provide a lot of comedy. But chapters like this play more for the emotional effect of the story. Well, please review. And if you have any suggestions, do say something! I'll see if I can work it into the plot...which, considering I write at random, there's hardly every a constant plot. I get a general idea of what I want and I go for it! 


	13. Back to the Drawing Board

Already I have another chapter ready! I seem to be taking turns being interested in the updating of this story and my current Max Ride one...which I need to really update on! Well, you guys read this, and I'll start working on the next chapter for that!

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**Back to the Drawing Board**

Inutaisho was in the middle of building a card castle late in the afternoon. Everything was quiet, what with the maids done with their rounds for the day. He could finally concentrate in his study. Papers with figures and important documents were strewn all around him, things that needed to be signed and approved, but he was currently ignoring them like a child ignoring their homework.

It was two hours ago that he'd started. Considering the lack of patience that the man had, it was a great achievement unto himself to not have given up. He had used four packs of cards to make a replica of the very castle that he lived in and was just about to put the last card, an ace of spades, on top of a structure that would have finished a tower and the masterpiece, when the door rang. He sighed and closed his eyes, but readied a steady hand to place the card where it needed to go. The door rang again. "Could somebody get that?" he called out to one of the servants, a bit annoyed that they were taking so long. Once again he lifted the card up, it actually touching the other card it need to lean against. But the bell rang yet again. This time, he jerked his hand back out of irritation. The movement caused the rest of the cards to give a threatening wobble, then--"No, no, NO!"--the whole thing collapsed, cards flying everywhere. A distant memory of the same thing happening many years ago in real life on Inuyasha's birthday came to him, but only for the briefest moment.

A/N: Some who have been a fan of Inuyasha for a long time might know that his memory is a real one from the third movie. Izayoi had a jealous suitor that came to the palace on the day Inuyasha was born (and oh, he was too cute as a baby! Such cute little ears! Oh, and his father named him!). He and his men burned the castle down and a weak Inutaisho, weak from a previous fight, gave her the robe of the fire rat and told her to grab Inuyasha and run. He stayed behind to fight this person, but dies, the last scene with him being of the castle crumbling in flames.

Inutaisho gets up from his seat so fast that he knocks the chair over. He stomps down every step deliberately so the person will hear him coming and know he's not in a good mood. His boots clicked loudly across the floor. Grabbing the door knob, he tried to wrench it open, but it was locked. He gave another frustrated cry and ripped the whole thing off its hinges, tossing it behind him to clatter loudly across the great hall. "What?!" he yelled to the person standing there. In front of him was a terrified little girl no older than seven or eight who had pure white hair and was holding a box of something, a wagon trailing her. "P-please s-s-sir. W-would you l-like t-t-to bu-buy s-s-s-some c-c-cookies?" A girl scout selling cookies. Aw, fuck, what had he done?

"Um, gee, I guess," Though he was still supposed to be fasting, it was the only way he knew how to make it up to the girl for scaring the shit out of her. "So, what kind do you have?" Gaining back some of her confidence, she started listing all of the cookies she had, taking forever in a day. Well, anything with chocolate was out, lest he wanted to kill himself. And he hated anything with nuts because they got stuck in his teeth. And he felt that peanut butter cookies were too dry. And the mint cookies...the mint cookies were perfect! He could eat fudge, couldn't he? Well, he guessed he'd find out. "Here, I'll take three boxes of your fudge mint cookies," he said, holding out a fifty dollar bill. "Keep the change." "Thanks, mister!" she beamed and handed the boxes to him, then skipped down the steps.

He hadn't noticed it before, but at the end of the drive, a car was parked there. The little girl climbed inside it and Inutaisho recognized the figure behind the wheel. Naraku Ijikuji. He and Inutaisho had always been rivals since college, when Inutaisho kept calling him "Itchy-coochi" and Naraku had called him "Snow bunny" referring to the fact that his hair was white. Inutaisho narrowed his eyes on him in the car. "Naraku," he said coldly. "Snow bunny," Naraku called back, then peeled out down the street. _Little bitch!_ Inutaisho thought, turning around to go back inside.

Just as he was about to head in, another car pulled up, this time a yellow taxi. A solemn looking Sesshomaru and a groggy Inuyasha got out and grabbed their luggage from the trunk. Inutaisho was like a puppy trying its hardest to sit still as the excitement of seeing them built up, his two tails even starting to wag. The cab pulled away, and he let it loose. He flew down the steps to greet them at the gate, swooping them both up at the same time into a bear hug. "Boys! It's really you! God, you don't know how much I've missed you! I done watched my bachelor video fourty-seven times and then I went to the Olive Garden and just sat there ordering wine after wine and looking so lonely until one of the waiters starting hitting on me, I think his name was Jakotsu or something, and then I came home and played Tekken 5 all the way through until I beat it with every character and unlocked every level and I tried to solve a rubics cube, but I got frustrated and threw it through your window, Sesshomaru, and just God, I'm so happy that ya'll are back!"

Wow, what a mouthful. Sesshomaru did his customary blink. "So, I have a hole through my window?" Inutaisho picked up their bags, avoiding his stare. "Um, yeah, sorry about that. Didn't expect you guys to come back for the whole summer. Hey, Inuyasha, did you put on some weight there?" Inuyasha glanced down at a slightly protruding stomach. He'd been stuffing his face left and right at the mansion, taking advantage of the fact that he didn't have to go through any servants and was rubbing it in Sesshomaru's face. "Um, maybe just a pound or two. But it's all water weight! And...um...muscle!" Sesshomaru fixed him with a silent gaze. "Uh, sort of," Inuyasha added.

But Inutaisho didn't care. He was too ecstatic at having the boys back to care about anything that might have originally angered him, like the new door he'd have to buy. For the moment, and for once, he was going to enjoy the company of family.

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I'm proud of myself for juggling this and having to do chores, and school, and...okay, so it's not like I have a lot to do. I go to school and that's the highlight of my life. As for chores, well...it's not my fault! My zodiac sign of the snake says I'm naturally lazy! I do have to make sure that things are at least straightened up if not spick and span, spring cleaned. But perhaps that's TMI. Please review, I've been getting some lovely comments that really just make my day! 


	14. Generation Taisho

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**Generation Taisho**

"So, your mom's in a mental asylum?" Inutaisho asked. The three males were sitting around the kitchen table eating the mint fudge cookies that he'd bought, a box in front of each person. Inuyasha nodded solemnly. "Yeah, poor dear mother finally went over the deep end," he said. "Only humans," Sesshomaru said, shaking his head slowly. "No, demons can lose their marbles too," Inutaisho said wisely. "Why, did I ever tell you about my great, great, great, great, great no good pig stealing grandfather?" They shook their heads. Quite frankly, they were unaware that their father even had a father with the way he acted sometimes.

"It all stated long, long, long time ago. Back when the moon hung low and bright in the sky like a pearl, and people hopped the broom to get married." "I thought that was a slave thing," Sesshomaru interjected. Somewhere a record came to a scratching halt. Inutaisho whipped his head around at him. "Boy, what do you know? The idea of you being conceived hadn't even been invented yet, so you just hush. Now where was I? Oh yes, and the flowers used to be so much brighter back then. Why those flowers glowed like a light bulb! And--" "The light bulb wouldn't have been invented until the twentieth century," Sesshomaru added. His father turned cold eyes to him. "It was an analogy! I was comparing the brightness of the flowers to the brightness of a light bulb! Nobody said anything about when what was invented! Now either shut up and listen or leave!"

Both boys quickly rose from the table, but Inutaisho called them back. "Sit down! I ain't finished! Ain't you ever heard it's rude to leave when your elders are talking to you? Ain't I learned you boys nothing?" Sesshomaru and Inuyasha shared a look of confusion. "You mean, taught you? Ain't I thought you boys nothing?" Inuyasha asked. "Whatever, same difference. Now if you boys don't be quiet, I'm never going to finish." They groaned under their breaths and slumped in their seats. Looks like they had no choice but to let him finish.

Their father grabbed another cookie and chewed on it reminiscently, as though he were telling his own personal story. "So, your great times five grandfather used to be a farm hand for this family. Yeah, we Taisho's weren't always rich you know. And it's due to your grandfather's craziness that got us on our way. Anyways, so he was a farm hand, feeding the chickens, washing the horses, milking the cats, the norm." Sesshomaru opened his mouth to protest, but Inuyasha waved him down. Their father went on. "Now this farmer had a beautiful daughter that everyone and their dog wanted to marry. Literally, some people actually wanted her to fuck a dog...don't know why exactly, but you know country folk aren't like us normal folk, their upper levels aren't quite right," he said, tapping a finger against his head.

"The girl's name was Maybelle Louise and that was her whole first name. Some just called her Belle, some called her May, and some called her Louise. But that grandfather of yours, he was so in love with not just her but her name that he said it all every time he mentioned it. Everyday he'd see her go out to the pastures and pet the sheep and once she even helped him with one that was giving birth. He threw up in the middle of the procedure, so she had to finish on her own, but nonetheless, she was falling for him. Well, back in those days, you didn't just run off with someone when you wanted to marry them. You had to ask the father of the girl and he had to agree to the union. Unless you cantalouped and then that was a different story." "Eloped," Sesshomaru coughed under his breath to where only Inuyasha heard him.

"So your great great great great great no good, pig stealing grandfather went to her father and asked for her hand in marriage. Like I said, the Taisho's weren't a rich family back then so when asked about the dowry, your grandfather couldn't give an answer. He was afraid that he'd lose the girl to a much more wealthier prospector, a dirty, much older man who said that he'd hand over his fattest sow for Maybelle Louise's hand. Now, Maybelle's father was quite generous in the fact of letting his daughter choose who she wanted to be with. But the darn girl couldn't choose to jump over a candle stick or crash into one if her life depended on it! So, she told them that whoever could carry a pig up Mount Hakurei the most often in an hour won. Both men were demons, now, and figured that they could do this a million times over.

"What they forgot to remember was that Mount Hakurei is a spiritual mountain. Only humans have ever been near it and on it. So, the man grabbed up his fat sow that he liked to call Ethel and your grandfather grabbed up an equally fat pig named Hubert that Maybelle's father owned and they positioned themselves at the base of the mountain. The young lady stood in front of them and took of her bonnet which was the color of sunshine." "Sunshine doesn't have a color," Sesshomaru couldn't help saying. Inuyasha had started paying attention to the story and was mad at him for interrupting it. "Shut up! I want to know what happens to Ethel and Hubert!" "Thank you, Inuyasha," Inutaisho said, staring at his eldest.

"So, Maybelle waved that bonnet of hers and off the men took! And whoo-wee wasn't it a race! Hot dog, you couldn't get more excitement watching a Hawaiian woman race a dog to rip apart a coconut with their bare teeth. And I've seen that; the woman won. So off they went, seeming to make good progress...until they hit the barrier of the mountain. Immediately their powers were drained. Each hog weighed around eighty pounds and though that's nothing when you have your strength, without it, it's a burden. Slowly, step by painstaking step, they climbed. The other man reached the top first, the first man to do so, but Ethel got away from him and he had to chase her down walking. So it was your grandfather who made it down first, but that man wasn't far behind. Without waiting to rest up, your grandfather went right back up, carrying Hubert but thinking about his Maybelle

"And on they climbed, two times, three times, four times. They were hot and tired and sweating like a slave speaking to a white woman, but they continued on. Finally, it came down to the end. The other farmer was at the top of the mountain. Your grandfather was halfway down it. But that man lost his footing and he and pig tumbled past them. Well, it was the end of the hour and that man made it down before him. At the bottom, he could see he and Ethel having themselves a private hootananny, a regular hoe-down. He was so ashamed, he took off on the other side of the mountain with Hubert. It was here that he lost his mind and went and slew countless villages and clans. But he had also destroyed the wolf packs that ruled the territory at the time, thus turning the power over to the dog demons. He never realized himself that he'd done this due to being shot while he was stark naked running through a corn field. But his father took over the responsibilities and thus here we are, some five thousand odd years later, the proud and noble family of Taisho."

Inuyasha started clapping, then Sesshomaru joined in. Their father blushed at their admiration. "So, like, craziness runs in the family though?" Inuyasha asked. Inutaisho shrugged. "More or less. Did I ever tell you the story about--" Despite their active listening to the first story, they wasn't trying to hear another. "Um, gee, I gotta go and um..." Sesshomaru got up and ran out the house to the neighbors house. A shot went off and he came back with tear-filled eyes. "I have to go to little Johnny's funeral." "Uh, me to," Inuyasha said. Inutaisho shrugged. "Hm, your loss." They left graciously to their rooms while he finished off all three boxes of cookies. "It's times like these that make me think twice about killing myself," he muttered to himself with a small smile.

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Okay, there you go! Now do me and yourself a favor and review! It's good for me because it makes me happy! It's good for you because it's good for me! You wouldn't like me if I was angry! No, but really, please review! 


	15. Conversing Concerns

Been forever in a day since I've updated, I know, I know, and I'm sorry! I'm actually starting to lead a busy life what with a paid internship coming through! Whoo-hoo! I've been long over due for some greenbacks! Oh, and I have another note about late updating at the bottom, but read this first! You know how we do at this time, enjoy!

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**Conversing Concerns**

"We have to go see her," Sesshomaru told his brother the next morning. They were back at the kitchen table, this time having breakfast. It was clear that the older Taisho's had given up on the fasting thing. One of the servants had commented to Sesshomaru that he was starting to look like an anorexic girl with his feminine features and overly thin body. That was the tip of the iceberg for him and so here he sat, attacking his French toast with a vengeance.

"No we don't," Inuyasha said around his omelet. "That's what your mom's there for. Besides, we're supposedly the reason for her going insane. We'd just do more damage." Sesshomaru swallowed and looked at him. "She's your mother." Inuyasha slowed down on his chewing and nearly came to a stop. "She _was _my mother. I'm officially disowning her." Sesshomaru threw back his head and laughed. "Ha! That's a good one! Disowning your own mother! Real original, Yash." "Hey, it's been done before!" Inuyasha said, feelings slightly hurt.

Sesshomaru only shook his head and took a sip of his juice. "Yeah, but you're not good with "disowning" things. Remember that litter of kittens you found under that far corner of the castle and you kept them for three months? Everyone made fun of you for being a dog demon (or half) and owning your natural enemy. You said a million and one times that you'd get rid of them, but you never did. Dad finally had to give them away at a local Wal-Mart for free." Inuyasha's lip started trembling. "You-you guys told me they ran away. You-you mean d-dad gave them up?" Sesshomaru gave him a hard stare. "It was for your own good. You were starting to talk to them and name them and stuff...it's was getting kind of weird. Especially when you started naming them after real people. Like you called that all white one George Washington, when it was a girl! And you called that one that yowled all the time Malcolm X. Oh, and I really liked how you named that ugly, multi-colored one with the rough fur after me!"

Inuyasha bit his lip and smirked. It was his way at getting back at his brother for all the years of older brother cruelty. But then his face fell. "Nonetheless, I'm not going to go see her. Your mom would behead us if we tried anyways." "More than likely," Sesshomaru shrugged. "But still, somebody from the Taisho side of the family has to go and represent us in the family's best interests." Inuyasha paused and stared at him. "What is this, a funeral?" "Yours and mine if we don't go," Sesshomaru said. Inuyasha shook his head wistfully. "Damned if we do and damned if we don't. A lose-lose situation."

Then he remembered something. "Don't you start working today?" Sesshomaru's head snapped up. "Oh, shit! Thanks for the reminder! We don't have to go today, but soon. And start looking in the stores for a card for her. None of that cheesy Hallmark bullshit either. Something that looks like someone actually felt what they were writing." He took a last bite of his toast and ran up the stairs. He came back down moments later with a pair of swimming goggles, a bottle of sunscreen, and some shorts. A pair of sunglasses rested on his head. Inuyasha glanced behind him to look and burst out laughing.

"Oh my god! You're really going for this, aren't you?" He doubled over in laughter. "Sessh-Sessho--" he gasped between breaths. "Sessh, you can't swim! The first time dad put you in the swimming pool out back, you flailed like a beached whale until you started sinking! He had to buy those kiddie inflation things that go on your arms! And even when you got older, you always stayed by the side of the pool!" He now was rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off (ah, text talk!). "I stayed by the side not because I didn't know how to swim, but because...of other reasons," Sesshomaru said with a small smile, thinking back on those times by the underwater jet streams. "What reasons?" Inuyasha asked. "Oh nothing, nothing...don't worry your little head over it."

He walked over and ruffled his brothers hair. Then he reached down and bit it, not affectionately, but with real malice. Before he could pull away, Sesshomaru grabbed a fistful of his hair and held him in place. "Let's not forget that you had a little problem with not peeing in the water. Remember that time at the public pool you did it and a purple cloud formed around you? You'll never live that down." He released him with a shove and walked out the door. Or actually it was just a hide like on a tepee due to the door still not being fixed.

Inuyasha watched him go with relief, then began to wonder about his own hiring for his job. "I did good in there, the best interview anyone could ever give. Surely I'll get hired!" He convinced himself, then gave a remorseful sigh. "At least George, Malcolm, and Ugly Sesshy would have my back on this." Slowly, he continued to nibble his food, lost in a world of nostalgia.

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So, after such a long break, there you have it! Oh, and I might as well warn you guys now. Next week is our state tests, what we call the Leap and GEE (I forgot what LEAP stands for, Louisiana something or another, but GEE is Graduating Exit Exams). As a senior who has not failed any parts of the previous tests, I don't have to re-take anything, so there's no test for us to take! Now, though they cannot tell us to not come to school, the teachers and even the counselor has made it quite clear that to go, would mean four hours trapped in some room somewhere or our auditorium. I can stay home for the entire week! But...oh my god it's so frickin' boring at my house! I'll try to make sure I have two chapters at least for you guys when I get back! And then I come back the week after that for only four days and then we have spring break, of which I'm going to meet the rest of my family for the first time in Cha-town, Chicago! So, I'll have a lot of time on my hands. Do review, but since I don't have net access, be patient until I can answer your reviews! 


	16. Odd Dog Out

Been forever in a day (a term of my mom's!) since I've updated, but like I had said, I didn't have to go to school last week! Oh, but there's something I'd just like to add real quick. Back when Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had found the ads in the newspaper, I had said that for Sesshomaru's job, he needed a week of unpaid training. I'm taking that out so he starts the job immediately in this chapter. Okay, just wanted to fill you guys in on that. Now treat your eyes and brains to the writing of the great A.D. Williams! (more sarcasm, folks, I see myself as only mediocre!) 

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**Odd Dog Out**

The line of tanned, muscular men seemed like they had stepped out of a Baywatch episode. Their sculpted bodies gleamed with suntan lotion and their shorts formed snugly to the shape of their toned thighs. Triceps and biceps bulged and each man seemed confident in their body image. Their employer, Mr. Jimmy Dean, like the sausages, walked down their midst, examining each one to make sure they were up to par. He added a check to each person's name on his clipboard, giving them a nod, which they then beamed back a smile. This continued until he came to the end. Sesshomaru. 

Sesshomaru had always been a very modest person, figuring those without shirts looked barbaric. He had put on his shorts, though and stood in some blue flip-flops with his kimono top still on, sweltering in the summer heat. It took all of his strength to keep his tongue in his mouth and not out where he would begin panting like a dog. Mr. Dean looked at him. "Um, Sessh? Did you not get the memo about dressing for the part of a lifeguard? You can't properly swim with that on." "Unless he plans to used those sleeves as sails!" Mr. Perfect from the interview shouted out. Sesshomaru curled his claws into his palm, drawing his own blood to satisfy his demon's rage rather than this cretin's. 

He drew himself up and said, "I assure you I can properly swim with my attire. There is no need to concern yourself with me." The line of male-like models cackled. "We're not looking out for you! We're worried about the swimmers!" The guy from before shouted to more raucous laughter. Sesshomaru dug his claws in deeper. Mr. Dean waved his hands to quiet everyone. Putting a hand on Sesshomaru's shoulder, he said, "Look, I know you feel confident that you'll be okay wearing that, but I gotta tell ya, Sessh, I'm not so sure. Just do me a favor and please take it off, hm? Besides, the ladies love a shirtless man." He gave him a conspiratorial wink and backed up, waiting for Sesshomaru to take the kimono off. 

All eyes were on him as he sighed, then pulled the silk over his head. Before it was fully off, the laughter had started again. He carefully folded the clothing and set it on a chair behind him. Looking down at himself, he didn't find what was so funny...except for the flip-flops. He quickly took those off as well and kicked them behind him. Okay, now what was so funny? And then he noticed. In a line of bronze skin, his pale figure stood out. It looked as though he'd never been exposed to sunlight. "What were you, locked in a basement all your life?" One man shouted. Sesshomaru resolutely ignored him and all the others (including Mr. Perfection). They each were assigned to an area of the beach to watch over. Sesshomaru's was considered the west shore since the land curled around the water facing that direction. He's spent his whole life looking at the west, so this was a bit comforting. 

But good karma seemed not to be with him that day. Of course Mr...whatever you guys want to call him, was assigned as his partner. He chuckled as he looked Sesshomaru up and down, sneering. "Step aside, newbie, and watch a pro do his thang." "Do what!" "My thang," the man repeated. Sesshomaru started shaking his head slowly with a disbelieving look. "No...just, no...Ebonics doesn't suit you well. Not at all." The man sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes, then pushed past him and climbed up to the guard tower. Sesshomaru beat him there by jumping. _Pathetic humans. So weak with no special abilities. _He noticed that there was only one chair and gratefully sat down in it. Only to jump up a second later as a strong jolt ran through his bottom. The other man laughed as he reached the top. "Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to warn you. The chair's mine and mine alone. It's rigged to recognize only these beautiful buns and no one else's. Every time you try to sit in it, five thousand volts of electricity will be given off. Still wanna sit?" 

Sesshomaru gave him a nasty look, then walked farther down the sheltered tower. It was a little odd for it to have a roof and even walking space like a balcony, but he didn't concern himself with its details. While the other man used a pair of binoculars to scan the beach, Sesshomaru relied solely on his strong eyesight and instincts. Time dragged by and nothing of any interest happened. His partner grew restless and climbed down the tower, walking slowly along the beach until he came to a group of young women. There he started up some friendly chatter. 

Human courting made him sick, and Sesshomaru wasn't about to look at this man any more than he had to. He was starting to get a little drowsy from the heat when he noticed a figure down below waving up to him. It was a girl a year or two younger than himself in human looks, which she was. She had long black hair with a ponytail off to the side. Around her waist, she wore a bright blue fabric that fluttered in the slight breeze with a matching top. _What the--? _Sesshomaru wondered, curious as to what she wanted. She didn't appear to be in any trouble, so what was this about?

He hopped down from the tower and walked slowly over to her. When they stood face to face, she giggled behind her hand and twisted her fluttering skirt in her hands. "Hi, my name's Rin." She said, blushing. He said nothing "You're new here, huh? I've never seen you before." She went on. Still, silence. "Hello, anyone home?" she called playfully, knocking on his forehead. But Sesshomaru was somewhere else, in a field of daisy's swinging her around and 'round in circles wearing bright, sixty-ish clothing with scarfs around their foreheads as some old hippie song played in the background: _I can't see me loving nobody but you for all my life..._ He shook his head to rid him of the thought, but had to admit to himself. He was smitten. 

"Um, Sessh, I mean, Sesshy, I mean, um, hi." He stammered. _Get a grip on yourself! You're getting more flustered than when you cheated on your ACT...all to still come out with a score of 22 out of 36! _"I'm Sesshomaru," he finally got out. She smiled and shook his hand, then they walked together down the beach, her explaining her life story and, he...he listened. They ended back near the guard tower, him leaning coolly on it, hands in his pockets and trying to look laid back. Until he spotted _him. _Mr. Perfect was coming back from his flirtations with the other girls and had a dead lock on Rin. 

"Hey little cutie!" he smiled to the girl. She was about to respond when Sesshomaru grabbed her arm and led her away. She took him back to her towel and laid down on her stomach, staring out at the sea. "I could come here everyday, I really could," she said quietly to him. He nodded, though her eyes were closed and she didn't see it. He noticed beside her her suntan lotion. He cracked his fingers, then squeezed just a little onto them and started massaging the cream into her skin. She smiled, but didn't move. 

It wasn't until too late that he noticed the looming shadow over him. _He _had come back. "Say, Sessh, why don't you go and do some trash duty? Some group over on the north end left their place a mess. We can't have that now, can we?" Sesshomaru glared at him. "Why don't you?" he said. The man shrugged. "Because I'm more senior to this job than you are. As a junior, _you _have to go clean up after others, not me. And besides," he shoved Sesshomaru away from Rin. "You're doing this wrong. You apply the pressure with your palms, not with your fingers. Don't you know that?" 

The dog demon could only growl under his throat. Moodily he stormed off to the north end of the beach to see what he was talking about. There was some trash left around, but nothing close to how he had made it seem. He'd been duped and Rin had been snatched away from him. In a cloud of thoughts, he made his way over to a snack bar called Shark Snack Attack. But then he noticed that all of the other lifeguards were there with their perfect female friends, girlfriends, and the like. And _he _sat in the midst of them with an arm around Rin, telling some joke. 

_At first I thought I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing left to do, a total eclipse of the heart. _Sesshomaru gave a deep sigh and trudged off back to the tower, locked in his first experience of being jilted.

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Man, doesn't Sesshomaru have some haters! Anyways, there goes the first of two I'm updating this go 'round. Hope you liked it!


	17. Economic Divisibility

Okay, you guys don't have to tell me, I know it's been forever in a lifetime since I've updated! But cut me some slack, I was on spring break in Chi-town, Chicago! And though I had plenty of time to update…well, no offense to my little step-sisters, but they kind of ruined my muse…sorry, I had to say it, but they did. There's only so many make-believe games I can play before I need to be left alone (And you try being forced to play Hotel and to rent a room! And not just any room, a suite! Yes, they forced me to rent a suite!). Though the manicure and pedicure were pretty nice…I still find doing make-up fun, especially when it's being put on me! But enough of that! Here's another chapter, do enjoy! Oh, and for anyone who might feel that I'm an uncaring person for what I've said, try to understand that I was raised with two male siblings very close to me in age…I'm used to being left alone a lot, lol!

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**Economic Divisibility:**

**Sink or Swim**

Time seemed to be going by for forever to Inuyasha. His father had retreated upstairs to finish his card castle and had left him by himself downstairs. He was jealous of the now busy life that Sesshomaru had and wished the woman from his interview would call and tell him the news. Then he remembered something. A way to look more interested in the job was to call them before they called you! Perfect! He reached over to the phone and started dialing.

Four rings later, then: "J&L Associates, how may I help you?" He could tell it was the same receptionist as when he had went there, the one who's drink he had backwashed in. "Hi, I'm calling about the Taisho interview, wondering if a decision had been made?" Inuyasha said using all of his manners…which weren't much. "Um…give me a moment to find out," the woman said and put him on hold. The music that filled the phone was some unknown tune, like elevator music. It sounded kind of like the theme song from Sex and the City (if you've never heard it, don't worry about it, just imagine elevator music, enough said!). Inuyasha found himself bopping his head to it, then started swaying. He shook his hands as though he were playing the maracas and danced around, holding the phone with his head pressed to his shoulder.

Inutaisho came down the stairs to retrieve his forgotten cookies and saw his son dancing with himself, shaking his hips and tossing his head to a tune he couldn't hear. _Oh Kami, not him too! I knew I shouldn't have left that college tape just lying around, he must have seen it! _"Inuyasha!" he barked. Inuyasha stopped and spun around, dropping his invisible maracas. "Oh, hi Dad…just…giving the ol' body a work out! Pilates, what a wonder!" He did a few stretches for show. His father wasn't buying it. "Give me the phone," he said sternly. Inuyasha handed it over, his head dropping in shame.

Inutaisho put it to his ear and said, "Hello?" The woman on the other end was back. "Hello? Am I speaking to Mr. Taisho?" "This is he," Inutaisho said. "Um, yes, we're sorry to inform you that your services will not be required. But we thank you for your interests in working with us." "Um…yeah…sure…bye." Inutaisho muttered and hung up. He turned slowly back to his son, who was now chewing nervously on his claws. "So, seems like you failed an interview…Yasha, Yasha, Yasha," he said sadly, shaking his head. "We Taisho's don't fail. At _anything_. We are perfect in all that we do…hell, even brushing our teeth, we need to be perfect in. I will not tolerate this mar on our family record!" He shouted. Inuyasha jumped and whimpered.

"What the hell did you tell them to make them not hire you?!" his father went on. "Did you tell them about your mother's infliction?! What about that little girl who used to live across the street who drowned in the pool during your seventh birthday party?! Or that I spread toe jam on my crackers as a midnight snack?! Did you tell them any of that?! Hm, did you?! DID YOU?!" By then, Inutaisho was all in Inuyasha's face, who was trying to keep it hidden by bowing his head and letting his hair cover him. His ears were as far back as they would go, lying flat on his skull. He moved his lips, but no sound came out. "What, boy?! Your old man can't hear you!" "I-I s-s-said n-no," Inuyasha finally got out.

Inutaisho stared at him for a moment. "Well then, I see we'll have to have a little talk with this company then. Nobody, but nobody doesn't hire a Taisho!" He reached in his kimono and pulled something out. A gun. "Now you take this, and you go and get what's yours! Are you a shark or a sheep?" Inuyasha blinked. "What?!"

"I asked if you're a shark or a sheep?! Come on boy, you're not that fuckin' dumb!" "I'm a shark…I guess…" Inuyasha shrugged. "How come I can't be something in between, like a kangaroo or something?" Inutaisho strode over to him and slapped him. "What the fuck is a kangaroo? There's only sharks and sheep out there, boy!" Inutaisho pushed the gun into his hands. "Now be a fucking shark! Sharks don't wait for someone to offer them food, they take it! Do you ask to eat when you're hungry?" "N-no." "That's right, because you take what you want, like a shark! They ain't no pussys! They ain't no sheep! Sheep get eaten by sharks!—" Inuyasha didn't interrupt him to correct his food web. "And you're not a sheep, right?" "N-no" Inuyasha stammered again. "Right?!" Inutaisho pressed. "No!" Inuyasha yelled back with more conviction. "Then go up there and take what's yours! You don't take shit from nobody! You hear me? Nobody! I want you to pull a Columbine and a Virginia Tech all rolled into one plus 9/11! I want you to make Osama himself come up to the front doorstep and ask how'd you become such a mean mother fucker! I want you to—" "Go to jail?!" Inuyasha interrupted, setting the gun down on a table and staring at his father with disbelief.

"Are you trying to get me killed?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?! You must be and it's a wonder with thoughts like that that you've managed to stay alive this long!" The wild look in Inutaisho's eyes dulled and he seemed to have to fight his inner demon to keep it from flaring to the foreground again. "Gee, I'm sorry Inuyasha…I guess I did overreact a little—" "Little my ass!" Inuyasha muttered just loud enough for himself to hear—"But I'm not mad at you…just disappointed." His son narrowed his eyes at him. "Is that supposed to make me feel worse than if you had just said you were angry with me? Because if it was, it didn't work. Your disappointments don't faze me."

They stared at each other for a moment. Inutaisho crossed over to the small end table and picked up his gun, stuffing it back in his kimono sleeve. "I'll just keep this safe, you know, from you minors…don't want anyone getting hurt…" He strode out of the room and to the front door…which still hadn't been replaced. "Where are you going?" Inuyasha asked him. "Oh, just to the store…gotta run a few errands…shouldn't take me long…" He was gone before Inuyasha could ask him anymore questions.

An hour later he returned, hair pulling out of its ponytail, sweat sticking to his clothes, and the smell of gun powder all over him. He sat down heavily on the couch next to Inuyasha, who had stayed there the whole time. "You threatened them, didn't you?" Inuyasha asked simply, not looking at his father but keeping his eyes on the screen. "You start tomorrow at nine," Inutaisho said, not looking at him either. Inuyasha nodded slowly. "Okay," he said, with a resigned sigh. Inutaisho gave a curt nod, then went back upstairs.

Inuyasha glanced at the clock again. He couldn't wait for Sesshomaru to get home…he wouldn't feel safe in the house until he did.

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Alright, there's the first chapter after another long break, and yeah, I know you guys missed me because I missed you! And all the lovely reviews! Okay, enough with the suck-up act to get more, but really, a review would be nice! Oh, and I have a question for all of you…I just finished with another story that I've been writing along with this one (the Max Ride one I was telling you guys about) and I want to start a new one again while doing this one as well. I want to do this one based off of a video game that I really like, though, but I'm not sure how popular it is among the general public. So in your reviews (if you submit one), answer me this: are you familiar with the Tekken game series? A yes or no will suffice. For those of you who are familiar with it, the story will be based around the lives of the two youngest male characters…my favorites!


	18. The Practice of Perfecting a Present

Alright, I know it's really been a long time since I've updated, please forgive me! Man, why does it seem like all the school work piles up on you in the last quarter? So I've been a bit busy here lately…and there's another thing…come May 17th (one day I'll need to go back and change that because it will be out of date..), the free wi-fi signal I use at school to post my stories will end…meaning that I either 1, anny up out of my pockets! 2, get some frickin' net at home! Or 3, hurry up and finish this story because I'm really getting off point with it! Put numbers two and three together and you get my idea! Anywho, you guys go ahead and read!

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**The Practice of Perfecting a Present**

Inuyasha found that despite his efforts to stay awake, he had fallen asleep on the couch. He woke up to a loud crunching near his ears. Sesshomaru had come back home for some reason at an ungodly hour of the morning…Inuyasha knew because he remembered being awake at least until twelve. He glanced up from his laying position on the couch and looked at his brother.

Sesshomaru was holding a bowl of cereal in his hands and chewing slowly but noisily, staring blankly at the TV. "God, you're gonna wake up the whole house with you chewing like a cow!" Inuyasha whispered to him loudly. Sesshomaru acted like he hadn't heard him and said, "This isn't where I thought I'd see myself in nine hundred years." Inuyasha gave him a quizzical look. "What are you talking about?"

Sesshomaru sighed and put the bowl down on the coffee table. He'd been eating Coacoa Puffs. "Life," he said intellectually, but with a note of sadness. "It's full of surprises…everything's going good, then wham! Some jackass comes and takes it all from you." Inuyasha reached out a hand and gently turned his brother's head to where it was facing his. Bringing his face closer, he whispered, "Are you sure you're okay? I promise I won't tell anybody." It wasn't like his brother to go off the deep end like this…a picture of him running stark naked through a cornfield came to his mind and he recoiled visibly from the thought. _Ew, incest thoughts…_

Sesshomaru gave another sigh, then said, "We need to go visit your mother. They'll be expecting us to." "Yeah right! Look, they don't want us. Just let 'em be." Inuyasha stood and stretched. "Besides, we're back home. That's great, right?" He looked at the depressed face below him. "Right?" he asked again. Nothing. He pushed Sesshomaru, then put up his fists. "Come on, once upon a time there was a guy who would've slapped the shit out of me for putting my hands on him…really, after that last time, I had to go change my clothes…what happened to him?" Sesshomaru stood too and led the way out the door.

"Hold up, can't we talk about this?!" Inuyasha shouted as he tried to keep up with his brother's larger steps. "I mean, a vote, something!" "We're going to get a card and some flowers. No chocolate. That only increases depression." "Oh, so you're a doctor now, hm?" Inuyasha playfully jeered. It went over his brother's head. "After seventy years of psychology, things tend to stick." He said seriously. They entered a gift store and set to work looking for the right card.

"How 'bout this one?" Inuyasha asked, showing him one with a picture of a bouquet of yellow flowers on it. "What's it say?" Sesshomaru asked. Inuyasha shrugged and read it. "'Things at time are hard to bear, but do hold tight and you'll get there. Keep a smile, never frown, don't let life get you down.'" Sesshomaru frowned. "No." "Aw, come on! That's perfect! Mom's in the nuthouse for being depressed, what's wrong with this?" "Where's the true sentiment, hm?" Sesshomaru asked, searching 

for another card. "It's too bland and there's no real emotion in it." Inuyasha stopped in his new search and turned to face him.

"This is _my _mom we're talking about here. Why do you care?" But Sesshomaru acted like he didn't hear him and started humming loudly off key. He shook his head and continued. But of course it was going to be Sesshomaru who found the right card. It was emerald green with a large tree on the cover…very like the one in front of Kagome's house. On the front it read, "Love is like a tree, it keeps growing and growing…" On the inside, two whole covers were blank for writing. Sesshomaru tried to whip a pen out of his pocket, but it got caught on his pocket protector. Inuyasha sniggered. "Pocket protectors?! That's so…so…geek!" Sesshomaru cracked his knuckles and poison began to seep from his claws. "Oh, did I say geek? I meant neat!" Inuyasha gave a nervous laugh, but kept his eyes on his claws as he began to write.

"Lady Izayoi…" Sesshomaru began, then stopped. "Well?" "Well what?" Inuyasha said. "You're right, it is your mother. You write this." He forced the pen in his hands. Inuyasha's hand wobbled. "I-I'm not creative like you." He tried to put the pen beck in his hand. He wasn't taking it or no for an answer. Inuyasha huffed, then hunched over the card and began writing. After a few minutes, he straightened up and muttered, "Let's go." "No, we have to pick her flowers as well. One's not complete without the other." Inuyasha nearly screamed. "Like she cares! She's probably comatose! She wouldn't know if we brought her dog shit in a bag!" Sesshomaru's calm face faltered for a moment and he let a smirk flick across his lips, but quickly hid it.

They wandered around the store, trying to find something that the woman might like. They each stopped before a different bouquet. "These white ones look nice," Inuyasha said. Sesshomaru gave them a skeptical look. "Hospitals are white, add some contrast. Like these purple ones. They'll stick out. And they look nicer. See there, there's one flower already wilting on those white flowers. We'll get the purple ones." Inuyasha threw him an indignant look. "Hold up, you got to pick the card. How come I can't pick the flowers?" "Because you can't. Besides, I'm the one with the money, I make the choices. Now quit your bitchin' and get to pickin' them up."

Inuyasha grabbed the flowers while muttering, "Money, yeah right. Using dad's platinum credit card is more like it. Free loader." Sesshomaru heard him, but played it off until they had paid and were out the door. There, he shoved his brother hard and sent him flying into the multiple flowers outside the store. "At least I have a job," he called over his shoulder and kept walking. Inuyasha cracked his own knuckles and wished that he had more abilities to attack his brother with.

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Okay, probably not my funniest…I started writing this just this morning…and I am/had to go to school today. Still, I hope you enjoyed. Review!


	19. When It's Over

Nothing much to say here, though I do know that time is really of the essence now with such a deadline for finishing this…and my current other story, making me wonder what compelled me to start it before finishing this one. Hell, that makes one done and another half way done before I've finished this one! Personally, I'll admit that I do find it hard to write this since I have no way of watching the show anymore which helps a lot with imagery. I don't think it comes on any of the channels I have…which is…never mind. After waiting for the bus for nearly an hour, either that it came extremely early, regardless it's not my fault—I have written this chapter at home (unlike the other one). Not saying that that's going to guarantee that it's any funnier, for my funny bone seems to be broken...though I think that's your elbow…but you get what I mean! Okay, now I'm rambling. Do read, hope you like it, and please review!

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**When It's Over**

(A song I remember from Sugar Ray…whatever happened to them?)

Briar Ridge turned out to be one of those cliché mental hospitals you see in the movies. Nurses bustled about wearing white dress-like uniforms and folded white hats with a red cross on them. Some patients freely roamed the halls, muttering to themselves and looking curiously at the brothers as they were led to the elevators. "Miss Izayoi is on the fifth floor," a nurse told them, standing aside to let them into the small space. "Room 504." The woman didn't get on and the doors silently slid shut, beginning its ascent.

"504," Inuyasha huffed. "Great number. Now people can say she's not just mentally cracked, but mentally dumb too." "It's just a number. It does not reflect on the person themselves." Sesshomaru said logistically. Inuyasha sniffed in disgust and breathed in too much of the flower's pollen. "Ah, ah, ah!" "Inuyasha, no!" Sesshomaru shouted. But the sneeze came. For Inuyasha, sneezes weren't just sneezes. They were explosions. "Acho!" was the last word that was heard on the fifth floor before everything went wrong.

The lights in the elevator burst, the control panel for the buttons fritzed. Sesshomaru had just enough time to register what being unprotected at this moment would mean and formed a shield around himself. Even the shield was blown back, making a large dent in the metal walls. As for the flowers and card that Inuyasha was holding? All that was left of the card was the last line that he had written. Only one flower remained and it resembled more of a weed now, with a green stalk but only one purple petal still attached.

Slowly, Sesshomaru dislodged himself from the wall. "You know, there was a reason I told you to let me hold the flowers," he said, brushing off his kimono. "Yeah, but you picked everything out. At least let me give the stuff to her," Inuyasha shot back, but shaken from the damages he had caused. Sesshomaru had a sudden drought of patience. "What stuff?! You sneezed it all away! You're basically now giving her a school note and a blade of grass! When you hand it off, which would be real tacky of you, don't you mention my name. Sesshomaru had nothing to do with _this._" He nodded at the items still in his brothers' hands, then shoved past him and out into the hall.

Inuyasha got over his initial shock and followed him. Room 504 wasn't far and they both stopped to listen inside. A TV could be heard, and soft talking, nothing specific. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, knocked softly on the door, then grabbed Inuyasha's shirt and shoved him inside. He himself walked in more dignified and with the most painted on smile that he could manage. Naomi, his mother, was seated beside Izayoi, holding her hand. The other woman was lying in a bed that had been raised to where she could sit up. She didn't move when they walked in.

"Mother," Sesshomaru said respectfully, bowing to her. She took one hand away from Izayoi's and shot him the bird. He wagged one finger in her face. "Now, now, that's not the way to treat your only begotten son." "No, you're right; the proper treatment for you would be to douse you with hot canola oil to wash away your impurities. Ai-ya!" Oh no, the superstitions were back. He turned away from her and looked at Izayoi. The woman's eyes were open, as was her mouth, slightly. She held an expression of awe on her face, clearly unaware that they were standing beside her. He gave her a quick bow, and patted her head, making Naomi growl.

"Told you they didn't want us here," Inuyasha whispered to him. "Let's just set this shit down and dip out of here. We can go to that beach you work at, there's gotta be plenty of beach bunnies with this perfect weather." _Beach bunnies?! _Sesshomaru thought. No more Baywatch.

Izayoi turned toward Naomi and made an open mouth humming noise. "Yes, I know you want these ungrateful bastards to leave, honey," Naomi said sweetly, stroking her hair. "I'll call security right away." "Wait," Sesshomaru said, and turned expectantly toward Inuyasha. Inuyasha stepped forward and presented…something that didn't even resemble what they had bought. "We got mom some things," he said, shifting on his feet. "Um, don't know if she'll even notice them, but it seemed like the proper thing to do." He held out the flower. The last petal dropped off and wilted to the floor, leaving a bare and splitting stalk. Naomi studied him with criticizing golden eyes. "You bring garbage trash for my woman? A fake flower from a graveyard would look better than that." "It's the thought that counts," Inuyasha said, starting to heat up.

" Then you have none," Naomi said, turning back to his mother. "A proper gift would have been paper cranes and tangerines, for long life and good health. None of this Valentine's Day stuff. Dead flowers and torn—what is that?" She pointed toward the piece of paper in his hands. Inuyasha straightened it out, but she snatched it from him and read what was on it. "'Go fuck yourself, okay?!'" She screamed. "No, that's not what—"Inuyasha grabbed the paper back. Much of what was left had been rubbed out due to his tight grip on the paper during his sneeze, and all that could be read were those words. The entire sentence had been, "You're **go**ing to get better mom, I don't give a **fuck **what the doctors say. Try to take care of **yourself, okay**?"

But Naomi wasn't trying to hear any of his excuses. She rose from her seat and picked up a large book from off the bedside table. "How dare you! You insolent heathens!" She launched the book at them, just as the boys ran out of the room. It crashed into the hallway wall and before she could volley another item, they slammed the door shut. "Spectacular," Inuyasha said with mock enthusiasm and shook his head. Sesshomaru went over and picked up the book. _Life After Death: What is _Your _Reincarnation? _He flipped through it as they walked back to the first floor. After the before incident, elevators weren't even a question.

By the time they had gotten to the front lobby, Sesshomaru had deciphered his future fate. "I'm going to be reincarnated as a pair of Nike Air Jordan's." Inuyasha stopped walking and stared at him. "A shoe?! You're going to come back to this earth to be a shoe?!" "A very popular and expensive shoe at that," Sesshomaru reminded him. Inuyasha snatched the book and flipped through it as they continued their walk home. By the time they had reached the first corner, he had found out.

"A fichus? What's that, a tree? And it says here that due to my atheist ways, it is most definite that I'm going to be chopped down for paper, of which a bible will be printed on." Now they both stopped walking. They stared at each other, then the book. Sesshomaru took it back and threw it through and office window. Inuyasha nodded his approval. "That shit's wack," he said. But for the rest of the day, he couldn't help looking at the trees and wondering if they had once been people too.

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	20. Theres Never a Right Time to Say Goodbye

Okay, so my time for writing is now up…sucks like I don't know what and if I wasn't scared of scaring all you away, I'd say every cuss word in the book…not like I don't use them in my stories anyways, but…so, with a heavy heart, I must cut this story short. _Very _short…as in, this is my last chapter, short…I've tried to tie up all the loose ends of the story and still make it funny here in the midst of final exam time. This chapter was also written impromptu, so forgive me for all of this.

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**There's Never a Right Time to Say Goodbye**

(Chris Brown)

The moment to boys got home, Inutaisho yelled from his study that he needed to see them. Sesshomaru cast an alerted glance at his brother, who failed to see it due to being seated on the floor and scratching behind his ears like a dog.

"And you wonder why I disown you," Sesshomaru muttered, going up the stairs alone. In the office, he saw his father standing in front of a large white sheet that was strung from one side of the room to the other, blocking something from view.

"Where's your brother?" he asked Sesshomaru when he came in.

"Taking care of this weird itch he's been having for a while," Sesshomaru shrugged. Inutaisho's eyes popped open.

"Oh no, you don't think it's…no, never that…but maybe…" He peered curiously at his son. "You're not lying about this, are you?"

Sesshomaru shrugged again. "What's to lie about? The kid has an itch, that's all I know." Inutaisho thought about this, then said something so low that even Sesshomaru didn't catch it.

"You wanna speak to someone rather than yourself?" Sesshomaru sneered, but on a slick level so as to not anger his father. Truth be told, deep down inside, he was terrified of him. It's what making B's or lower in home school, which your father taught, did to you.

"Sounga-tetsu-tensu-itis," Inutaisho said louder. "It's our family's curse. A male from every generation has caught it, and it looks like Inuyasha was the one it befell on for his. It's a horrible curse, changing its appearance from person to person…like schizophrenia…or anorexia."

Sesshomaru made a classic O.o expression, meaning he was thoroughly confused. "Um…I don't see how some interchanging curse relates to having multiple personalities or starving yourself…unless you're referring to Uncle Taioga and our fasting-starving holiday."

Uncle Taioga was a no-mentioner in the family. Every family has its one person that you don't talk about, or is considered crazy, or has some major defect or flaw. Uncle Taioga was the Taisho's. He spent his days speaking to balloons, and according to its color, his personality changed…Like red one's brought out Theodore, the angry drunkard…yellow one's brought out sweet and gentle Sam…white one's…white one's were a wild card, therefore it was best to stay clear of Uncle Taioga when he saw one…or simply keep him away from balloons. Whichever was more convenient.

Inutaisho scratched his head. "Well, despite Uncle Taioga's eccentricities, we still love him, even during his senior moments. No, what Inuyasha has is much deeper than that, deeper than an Indian grave, deeper than the Mariana Trench, deeper than hell, deeper than…deep space nine!"

Now Sesshomaru was completely lost for words and decided to just let his father speak.

"I don't have the proper tools necessary to cure your brother. Neither do Kaede or Tsubaki or the ghost of Kikyou, none of them…even the few things that the demon slayer Sango knows isn't enough to help him. But alas, I believe the gods have smiled on us! Which one, I can't remember since there's so many we worship. Perhaps it was the Sprite God, who's subliminal imaging has filled our minds with weird and wondrous thoughts and has also sent us a savior in the form of woman. Your mother."

Any pretenses of interest that Sesshomaru had shown at his story were gone as his face filled with real interest. "My mother? How can she help?"

Inutaisho gave his son a benevolent smile. "Dear son, your mother is a demon priestess…sort of…minus the protecting others thing…but she still holds the knowledge, if not the powers, of healing. Have you ever had any of her Super Remedy Soup? She even taught Izayoi it."

Sesshomaru remembered one occasion (and one occasion only) that he had gotten sick. Inuyasha had come into his room with a bowl of something dark and murky on a tray. It smelled like something ancient had finally died, then had been wrapped in king Tut's burial shrouds and rubbed across a monkey's ass. He was too weak to fight his brother off as he poured it down his throat. The taste was even worse than its smell. He coughed, he gagged, and then…then he was fine. Perfectly fine. All the symptoms of his sickness disappeared.

So, the moral of that lesson was looks (and smells!) can be deceiving. Inuyasha told him that his mother had taught him how to make it…and that his mother had learned it from a special friend. A piece of him felt sorry for Inuyasha that perhaps this awkward and disgusting concoction awaited him. Then again, let him have a taste of his own medicine, rather than forcing it upon others…even if the sick shit did work…

Inutaisho left the room to descend the stairs. Inuyasha was still at the bottom of them, scratching his head like there was something embedded in his hair. "Flea problem?" Sesshomaru asked with mock kindness. His only response was his brother's scratches.

Inutaisho didn't wait for a response of any kind. He grabbed his son by the collar and dragged him to the doorway of the kitchen. Rummaging through some cabinets, he produced a large, clear plastic bag. Looking directly at Inuyasha, he said, "Now be a good boy and get in here." Inuyasha stopped scratching for a second and cocked his head to the side.

The bag was placed over his head and ungracefully, the taiyoukai tied it. "There. There should be enough air in the bag to last him about—oh, thirty minutes." He slung the bag over his shoulder and headed out the _still _broken front door.

On the walkway, he transformed into his larger form and began running. _Oh no, this jackass here, _Sesshomaru thought in his own transformed state. He knew his father could be careless about things when he was in a rush…like the van that belonged to a mother and her three children…good thing they bailed out just in time.

His father was going so fast, leaping over this and that, that he didn't noticed that he had traversed _countries _until he had landed on the Vatican…oops…major oops. The Pope ran out and, forgetting his religion, started up a cussing storm.

Sesshomaru skidded to a halting stop before he crashed into his father. "How could you?!" He yelled at him. "How do you destroy the _Vatican!! _Oh, I'm never going to be reincarnated into some Air Jordan's now! More like a clear, plastic heel at Payless!"

Inutaisho looked around with a confused expression on his face. _What's the Vatican? _He asked, using his mind.

_Oh, nothing but the world headquarters for the world's greatest present-day religious leader. _Sesshomaru answered in a tight mind-voice. _The Pope is never going to forgive you for this…not that it really matters, we're demons. _

Inutaisho shrugged, then turned around and surveyed the area. _We're not in Japan anymore, are we?_

_Gee, you're just now realizing that? I figured a clue would be when we jumped over the Great Wall of China! _Sesshomaru shook his head in disgust.

His father paid him no mind. He pointed himself back in the proper direction and started his running again, Sesshomaru just keeping up.

An hour later, they had reached their proper destination, Briar Ridge. Before he could crash through the side of the building, Inutaisho switched gears and slowed down, then transformed back, running still so he didn't trip over his feet.

They walked up the steps again, the elevator still being down. Room 504 was open a crack now, and they pushed it open and entered.

"Naomi!" Inutaisho said in a high-pitched voice of faked gladness. "How are you? Hey, I'm missing those dumplings you used to make! No one could make 'em like you!" He gave her a wink. She gave him a middle finger.

"What do you want Taisho? I've moved on past you." _Ouch. _Inutaisho mentally said; Sesshomaru didn't pick up on it. He deposited the plastic bag with Inuyasha in it on the floor. The boy inside was pale and lifeless.

Izayoi turned her head toward the sound of the bag, blinked, then sat up quickly. "My baby! What have you done!" She got out of the bed and ripped the bag open. She kneeled on the floor, cradling Inuyasha's head, weeping.

_It took a death to bring her back to normal. _Sesshomaru mused. _Maybe if I fake my own death, my mom will stop being so…weird! _But he knew what was probably expected of him. He whipped out Tensusaiga, swiped it over his brother, and waited for the effects to take place.

Presently, his brother woke up, gasping for air. "Oh my god, death is a bitch!" He yelled, when he'd gotten a good breath. He looked around at the others. "There's these sadistic _Children of the Korn _type little kids who sing the most chilling songs about Michael Myers and Jason and Freddy Kruger coming to kill you…and there was nothing else around me, just vast white space…it's like a hellish purgatory! And then you had to stand in lines waiting for applesauce and pills in the middle of nowhere! There was a desk set up and at that desk is where you received your stuff. And they also had a mirror on that desk and when you looked in it, you were all old and decrepit, but when you felt your skin, it was still smooth from youth…dude, I never want to go back there!"

Inutaisho listened with interest, but finally said, "So I guess your itch is gone."

"Hell yeah it's gone! Compared to what I'd just been through, that itch was nothing!" Inuyasha screamed.

The adults exchanged looks. "So that's that." Naomi said matter-of-factly. Inutaisho shrugged. "I suppose. But…you wouldn't mind sharing the secret to that soup of yours, would you?"

She smiled evily at him. "You don't wanna know. Trust me." Izayoi turned to give her a look, but focused her eyes on her son again.

"Are you still staying with us for the summer?" she asked him. He looked over at Sesshomaru. His brother flicked his eyes at him, then shook his head almost imperceptibly. "No, we gonna pass on this one."

She gave a resigned sigh. "Fine. I see. You boys are attached to your father. I understand."

"Actually, it's more of that you're kind of—" Sesshomaru elbowed Inuyasha in the side to shut him up. His brother launched himself at him and they began fighting.

Inutaisho went and got snacks to watch them. Naomi turned to Izayoi and said in an authoritive voice, "I think you're good enough to go. We're checking out."

They were almost out the door, when Izayoi stopped to stare at the boys. "Maybe next summer," she whispered. "Once momma's boy always momma's boy." Naomi heard her and gave a small nod. "I know sweetie."

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Okay, that's the end! And though I had to cut it short, I think it was okay, personally speaking. Thank you, all of you, who reviewed! Love ya and maybe when I get some frickin' net (which might not be for awhile, until we move or until I start college in the fall!) I'll start another story. Okay, no tears people! Leave your last thoughts and opinions on everything and I'll catch ya later!

A.D. Williams, out!


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